eejit songs

When the night is????????? i know it's a song.............oh oh ..........."stand by me"!
Standing alone at the moment........well swaying alone to be honest.........
Where have all the flowers gone?,,,,,long time passing,,,,, all of a sudden it all makes sense.
On the song theme" I am strong.....not !, am invincible?......I am woman!!!! yes or no where did I go??
I recant, no favors no more, no intimidation no more , no assholes no more, no bull no more, if you go will you send back a "Letter from America" by the Proclaimers ........ go google it yourself!. Theres a job for y'all.

When you really could use a wet fish

AAAAAAAArrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Ok so get this!!
WE thought...HAHAHAHA......the new appliances were arriving today. Well hell the freaky guy in Sears said NEXT WEDNESDAY and that would be TODAY you would think?........Hmmmmm apparently NOT. Ok Ok breathe breathe.
So Last night we disconnect the stove,dishwasher and microwave because they are going to take the old ones away yes? I take the day off yes? I spend 3hours cleaning the kitchen so all is sparkling yes? I call for an estimated delivery time cos I have to go out to pick up the kids and guess what? Oh go on!
The freak was indeed as I perceived him A FREAK the Appliances arrive NEXT Wednesday......................I'm a tad upset CAN YOU TELL????????????????????????
I now have all of my old appliances sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor, won't dinner and dishes be a laugh tonight!
I'm trying to hold it together here but " I am not amused"
I'm going shopping, to spend lots of money, that we don't have, it's either that or I start stalking the Sears Freak with a big assed microwave to pound him with. See now if I only had a Fish........

Energy Moms and Work

Well that was quite the weekend.Can't remember when I last had so much fun.
Spent the whole time surrounded by family and friends life doesn't get much better than that.
Saturday night was hilarious. Mr Whimmaway informed us that we had been doing the 5 hour energy drinks wrong and that we should take them prior to any alcohol.
So we get the shot glasses out and down the energy.
Oh lordy, my buddy had a horrid reaction and got the shakes which was really quite worrisome BUT when we started our sing-a-long with 'If I had a Hammer' and she raised both hands which were independently doing the whole "revivalist" thing I laughed snorting and hiccuping like a demented pig.
We managed to loose the "sex bomb" again .....not even a "Big Spender" in sight this week, but we got his little rotund butt out of bed when the house guest came home and started all over again.
Sunday, Mothers Day, wonderful. Daughter 1 gave me a starbucks gift token, Daughter 2 a beautiful yellow pot mum, sole son a bottle of bubbly for Mimosas and from all three a lovely Etienne Aigner purse. Breakfast in bed, then we all snuggled up and watched Bicentennial Man. Just a quick aside, I LOVE Robin Williams. In fact if I could spend one hour with someone famous he would be pretty high on my list.
Monday was work which went okay but could have been better. I'm working on it. It's my project for this Summer. I love what I do I just need to keep on improving. It's quite crazy how the whole horse thing is an emotional rollercoaster. when all is good it's REALLY good when all is not so good it sucks big time. A very sweet friend of mine used to say he knew when I'd had a bad day at work. What? am I moody? grumpy? glowering at everyone?
No No and No he says, you start trying to sell your horses to any unsuspecting eejit who happens to come along! When that fails you try to give them away for free! Oh My..................

skinnies and fishes

Friday again and not a mouse is stirring. Morning mayhem concluded rather less earsplitting than usual. I think the new "house guest" has the girls on their best behaviour just by being here.
It's either that or Maxs Nanny 911 DVD's are beginning to have an effect.
Spent yesterday morning shopping for "skinny jeans" for daughter No1, who refuses to believe that I wore them back in the 70's and was quite the fashion diva of my day.
What I have never understood, same with slinky tops , is why the manufacture these "puppies" in anything larger than a size2.
Lets face it size 14 in skinny jeans is just tormenting some poor misguided females into thinking " well if they come in my size it must be ok to wear them" NO NO and NO you are being manipulated by the fashion industry and made to look like a balloon on Popsicle sticks (that's if your legs are thin enough to drag the skinnys over) if you are size fourteen period,legs and all, then I'm not even going to attempt a visual, just take my word for it "it's not bonnie".
Got to go to the Ranch today, Farrier coming and also have one lame duck that I'm treating for an abscess.
Darn horses, if there is an afterlife then I'm going to have Koi.
Yep feckin fish is the way to go!
You can breed them,sell them, look at them ( well that's what people do with fancy fish) but best of all if they get sick you can flush them. Not very sympathetic of me I know and I probably now have all of the "fish lovers" out there calling me a cold heartless fish hater but I would take good care of them. Oh I know another good reason to have fish! You can slap eejits around the head with them prior to flushing! I would never stoop to "eejit slapping" with a live fish.....although I think the results would be much more dramatic!

Appliances and empty chairs

Happy Anniversary to us, 15 years ago we were "Twitterpated" now there's word for you! Go Bambi!
Yep 15 years of wedded bliss........well some of the time, most of the time no time to be "blissful" Too busy dealing with the mundane chores of work and trying our best to parent three kids.
You know the Romance is fading when you treat yourselves to new kitchen appliances as an Anniversary gift. Actually I'm excited about it!....even sadder huh?
The "Sex Bomb" took yesterday off work and we went appliance shopping. Ordered a new stove, microwave and dishwasher........ wooohooo.
Bummer was they won't be arriving until next week.
We also chose floor tile but need to spend more time considering wall tile and counters. Did I mention I hate, loath and detest our kitchen as it is? So hopefully it will be all pretty by the end of summer.
The Weekend was great, usual Saturday night sing-a-long which for some reason wound up with us all singing "That's Amore" The girls choreography to "Big Spender" put the "Sex Bomb" over the edge and we lost him at around 11p.m. He keeps up with us girls much better when his "whimmaway" buddy is around.
Now I'm feeling all sad because my buddy will be returning to exercise her vocal chords with Mr Whimmaway and our weekends are going to be dreary attempts, trying to fill in for both of them and having conversations with empty chairs.
It's been bad enough that for the past months that we all look at the empty chair when Whimmaways name comes up, soon there will be two vacant spots......ach I'm getting maudlin and it's too early to "greet intae ma pint" so I'll go and do some housework to cheer myself up.
I'm easily pleased, doesn't take more than a good old duster and polish to get me out of my pity pot.

Horses and Fishing

6:30 a.m. awake,wide-eyed and bushy-tailed. Well the awake bit is true at least, probably bleary-eyed and saggy tailed would be a more accurate description.
Had a great time yesterday at the Ranch with my other 3/4.
We turned out all of the horses together then sat back to enjoy the show. Turned out to be a total anti-climax as they all smiled at each other and got down to munching the grass around the arena rails. Oh well I'm happy that they all get along. Whinnie was a tad protective of Talisker so JJ didn't get to be up close and personal with the boy, that's younger women for you....pppfffftt.
Spent a few hours playing with them and had a blast. Whinnie on line with Talisker beside her at liberty, all three gaits and changes of direction, then the same with the girls. Worked JJ at liberty in the huge outdoor arena for the fist time. Lost her once or twice but she settled in and did really well. Invited Talisker to stand up on the tree stump. He looked at it, sniffed it then proceeded to accept the invitation and hopped on up, thought he was "master of all he surveyed"
He was really cute.
Home for Les enfants then the day just went kinda weird. Can't even explain it really. Suffice to say rods were being cast from numerous directions.....interesting stuff.
I need to pay as close attention to my life as others do. It appears to be not as boring as I think it is.
Heck seems like I'm the only one totally missing the intrigue and drama!.

Food and Faking It

Where has the week gone?
I remember my Granny always saying "time goes faster as you get older" and me thinking "what a daft old eejit" time is what it is. Well she was right, as usual!
Smart lady my Granny. I miss her.
Hooray for "The Bogies". Flights booked. Scotland here we come! Max hit the send button so I reckon he's probably the first 12 year old "Autie" to legitimately spend in excess of $7,500. Go Maxie!
Not been home for 8 years so everyone is really excited. My mum has reverted back to a "raving lunatic" asking for grocery lists and threatening to decorate her whole house for us. Can't wait to see her though. It's been far too long.
Last night was our "Cultural Cooking" night. Every Wednesday the girls and I choose a country and prepare a meal. Last night was the good old USA deep south so it was corn bread and ribs!
The girls refuse to touch France as they are terrified we will make them try Escargot.
Greece was a good one with garlic chicken and greek potatoes, taramasalata and greek salad.
Enough about food.
Can't eat until I land on Scottish soil. Arriving peely-wally AND fat would be an absolute travesty. Which leads me to "what to do with the sex bomb?"
They don't come much whiter or rounder than my other half.....well probably more like my other 3/4 if girth size comes into it.
I suppose I could just stop feeding him? But how to get that healthy tanned effect?
He just burns, spends a couple of days writhing in agony, covered in after sun, looking like a greased red beach ball then miraculously turns pure white again. It really is one of natures miracles and has to be witnessed to be believed.
I know! I can slap fake tan on him when he's sleeping! No way he'd let me do it otherwise.
OK off to Wallys to buy some. I'll get L'Oreal because he's worth it.