Saturday, April 10, 2010

Moving On Up by M People

Where was I?
Oh yes, boobs.
I had my first Victorias Secret experience a few weeks ago and what an experience it was!
Move over Wallyworld we're done.
It was fine while it lasted but you never enhanced me to my full potential.
BAD Walmart.

I only went to Victorias Secret to have the girls fitted ( daughters! ) and in a moment of abject misery, surrounded by beautiful lingerie and beautiful women I had a brain fart and decided to get myself measured to see if VS could "raise" me out of my despair.
I was indeed measured. The outcome?

I've been AUGMENTED!
I looked it up in the dictionary and it says - ( To make (something already developed or well under way) greater, as in size, extent, or quantity )

No Victorias Secret did NOT give me a 3rd boob.
My boobs are developed though and the term "under way" definatley applies
- thank you gravity for that one, you nasty, nasty piece of work.

My cup size went from "C" to "DD" with just one glance at a measuring tape.
Bluddy amazing...
They got me trussed up like a feckin chicken, started my credit card smoking
( Marlboro Lights up to 20 a day) and home I trotted with a rather pretty pink bag full of DD, did you get that? DD! bras.

Me - Ma boobs are afwy close tae ma chin! I'm no likin this.
SB - Eh?
Me - I SAID, Ma boobs are afwy close tae ma chin!
SB - I hate to tell you this but thats where they're supposed to be.
Me - Well I'm still no likin it *sighs*
SB - It'll take a while to get used to it I suppose, it's been a while.
Me - Are you sue this is where they're supposed to be?
SB - I'm sure

I'm still skeptical.
Got nice undies though!


Mike said...

Before and after pictures please.

John said...

does that mean you'll be replacing your FB profile pic with an actual Fiona pic soon?

lacochran said...

LOL! Great stuff! :)

fiona said...

Mike be careful what you wish for!
John yer obsessed with my pic! lmao
LA ;0)xx

Bilbo said...

Oh, dearest Fiona, how you are making your legions of fans salivate for the pictorial we know is coming. Let's could feature Fiona and a horse, modeling Victoria's Secret lingerie. Fiona, not the horse. Someone will have to replace Pamela Anderson on Dancing with the Stars next may as well be you!