Where was I?
Oh yes, boobs.
I had my first Victorias Secret experience a few weeks ago and what an experience it was!
Move over Wallyworld we're done.
It was fine while it lasted but you never enhanced me to my full potential.
I only went to Victorias Secret to have the girls fitted ( daughters! ) and in a moment of abject misery, surrounded by beautiful lingerie and beautiful women I had a brain fart and decided to get myself measured to see if VS could "raise" me out of my despair.
I was indeed measured. The outcome?
I've been AUGMENTED!
I looked it up in the dictionary and it says - ( To make (something already developed or well under way) greater, as in size, extent, or quantity )
No Victorias Secret did NOT give me a 3rd boob.
My boobs are developed though and the term "under way" definatley applies
- thank you gravity for that one, you nasty, nasty piece of work.
My cup size went from "C" to "DD" with just one glance at a measuring tape.
They got me trussed up like a feckin chicken, started my credit card smoking
( Marlboro Lights up to 20 a day) and home I trotted with a rather pretty pink bag full of DD, did you get that? DD! bras.
Me - Ma boobs are afwy close tae ma chin! I'm no likin this.
SB - Eh?
Me - I SAID, Ma boobs are afwy close tae ma chin!
SB - I hate to tell you this but thats where they're supposed to be.
Me - Well I'm still no likin it *sighs*
SB - It'll take a while to get used to it I suppose, it's been a while.
Me - Are you sue this is where they're supposed to be?
SB - I'm sure
I'm still skeptical.
Got nice undies though!
2 years ago