Saturday, November 29, 2008

Deck The Halls- Mozart? Some Welsh guy?

"Good Christian Men Rejoice" blaring in my lugs.

SB is on a Mars?

I wish!

In good old American fashion, he decided this morning, to put up the Christmas lights.
This meant that I had to tackle the interior.
Having a tad of the LAWRENCE LLEWELYN about me, I take the task very seriously!

Christmas face Pictures, Images and Photos

This year:-

Family Room - Silver and Blue, kids reign supreme here!

Kitchen/ Kitchen dining area - Au Natural, Berries, Poinsettia, Pine Cones, Holly etc

Living Room - Burgundy and gold, "the adult" area...very tasteful? I hope.

Guest Bathroom - Reindeer, Penguins and Snowmen. WT's influence...great job darlin!

* Felice Navidad *...I'm gonna kill him! He's out in the yard, oblivious!

I typically love Christmas, this year not so much, no "Uncle Aund" to shop for.
He was the only person for whom Christmas shopping was an absolute delight. Everything was appreciated and every year was a blast, finding "cowboy" stuff to send.
I'm gonna "Cowgirl Up" though because
This will be the last year, she knows it's us but wants so much to hold on to the dream.
This one has to count, has to be the best, for the children.

I know for a fact that next year is gonna look like this

Marry Friggin Christmas Pictures, Images and Photos

My Scoot, of course, will still be believing in Santa when he's 40!
Oh, the joys of autism.
Kinda cool when you really, really think about it!

Enough maudlin ramblings

* 12 Days of Christmas* Kiri Te "feckin" Kenawa

SB is a goner!

Shit she just broke my wine glass...

Friday, November 28, 2008

Every Rose has it's Thorn -Poison

Well, today was an "interesting" day.
The girls had decided that "against all odds" we were going sale shopping.
We got all fancied up, WT had a lip gloss explosion.
This forced me to elbow the Sex Bomb in the ribs, thus preventing his mouth from spewing unnecessary makeup advice.

I had to stop for gas, down to $1.93, woohooo.
Into the wee shop to buy a Coffee for me and soda for the girls.
What could go wrong there huh? It's the am/pm for feck sake... you would think!

Wee Wifie at the am/pm - Did you have a nice Thanksgiving?
Me - Yes thanks it was great, and you?
"Wee Wifie at the am/pm - Really good
Me - Yes, I've got to say that it gets better as the kids get older
Wee Wifie at the am/pm - Oh I agree, isn't having the grand kids round wonderful?


Back to the car, incensed, girls giggling and placating in equal measures.
WT placating.
The Child Iseult giggling.

OFF TO THE MALL...feckin rat infested arena.

45 minutes later, major road rage issues just trying to get parked, we squeeze into the Macy's Maze, mall rat mania beckons.

The Child Iseult wanted some black and white Zebra print pants.
zebra print Pictures, Images and Photos
"Hot Topic" we are here!
Hot Topic Pictures, Images and Photos
She is deep in dialogue with some teen/gay/punk/pierced guy...size 1 or 0?
I look around for WT and spy her leaning forlornly on the window, outside the store.
When I gymnastically with breathtaking speed retrieve her, she informs me that the store is "creeping her out" She's such a pink frock girlie girl.
The Child Iseult's new best friend, salesperson, is trying to convince me "AM EX" that she really must have a belt to match her pants.
I tell him/her that noooo we really don't need one and if he does not cease and desist his/her sales pitch I am going to buy the bright yellow/black checkered skinny jeans on the display model! His reply:-


Teen/gay/punk/pierced guy, you are the best! You made an old lady very happy.
Just one favour?
Could you have a word with the Wee Wifie at the am/pm?

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Could've Been - Tiffany

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
SB and I are in the "spirit"
He made a paper "buckle" which he has placed strategically on the front of his black cowboy hat and is speaking in authentic "Pilgrim" speak whilst wearing the said "hat".
I have braided my hair, donned my best "native" duds and am only answering to the name "Talky-pish"
The girls are disgusted and have grounded themselves.
We are drinking "Poinsettias" yummylicious, Champagne and Cranberry juice, hopefully we'll be fit to stuff before we drop.

True Tale:-
Every year for the past nine years someone, (eejit would be a more descriptive term but since I'm being thankful today, I won't go there) different people, equally daft, has said to either SB or myself:

American Person -So, do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Scotland?

Given the number of Native Americans living in Scotland in 1621 you'd think it would be a dead giveaway but NO dear reader, it is not so...only in America.

Last night I had to rethink all of this as I was watching some TV show which was based on Native Americans and " Counting Coup (Coo)"
Were they erstwhile Scottish Farmers?
A man in a skirt is a man in a skirt after all... be it Sheep, Coos,

kilts Pictures, Images and Photos


native american Pictures, Images and Photos

Happy Thanksgiving Pictures, Images and Photos

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Babe - Styx

I am a Grand Aunt!
Baby Corey Andrew McCulloch made his Star appearance on the Planet at 2a.m. November 23rd 2008, weighing in at a healthy 7lbs.
This is my mums first Great Grand Child so I spent most of yesterday on the phone with her. Times like these the 8 hour time difference sucks!
It wasn't until WT asked "What relation am I to the new baby?" that I realised I had no clue how the "cousin" thing worked...thank you Google.
I tell her she is a First Cousin once removed.
WT - Is that because we came to America?
ME - Whaaa?
WT - The removed bit.
My kids make me smile every day, most days they make me laugh, I love them.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Centrefold - J Geils Band

I've made an executive Blog decision.
As of today, and every Sunday hereafter the topic will be Boobs.
Boobs is a good word.
Boob has many meanings.
So I would encourage you all to settle down, snuggle up, pour a glass of your favourite "tipple" and join me as I begin an adventure into Sunday Booby Blog. "SBB"

The Booby

A type of seabird, is part of the family Sulidae and the genus Sula. It is closely related to the gannets (Morus), which were often included in Sula in former times.

Boobies are large birds, with long pointed wings and long bills. They hunt fish, by diving from a height into the sea and pursuing their prey underwater. Facial air sacs, under their skin, cushion the impact with the water. Boobies are colonial breeders on islands and coasts. They normally lay one or more chalky-blue eggs, on the ground or sometimes in a tree nest.

Their name is possibly based on the Spanish slang term bobo, meaning "dunce", as these tame birds had a habit of landing on-board sailing ships, where they were easily captured and eaten. Owing to this, Boobies are often mentioned as having been caught and eaten by shipwrecked sailors, notably Captain Bligh of the Bounty and his loyalists, during their famous voyage after being set adrift by Fletcher Christian and his mutineers.


Blue-Footed Booby Bird Pictures, Images and Photos

Friday, November 21, 2008

It's Only A Paper Moon - Adam Ant

It would be fair to assume, that in these days of Technological Wonders
eg PC's, wee cell phones, teeth for your ears, mini IPods, tiny wee, well other shyte which I have yet to comprehend, that paper would be a thing of the past.

Once again I am bitten in the bahookey.
That old adage "assume" makes an ASS out of U and ME.
Will I never learn...

I am surrounded by paper. Paper is in my top ten "Things that piss me off"
The biggest culprit?

Schools apparently are even more in the "dark ages" than I am, and that ain't easy.
Every week, each child ( remember I have three of the wee angels/horrors) brings home enough paperwork to justify a filing cabinet.

Example : WT hands me last night
1 sheet (yellow) PTA win a BBQ
2 sheets (white) PTA news
1 sheet (pink) PTA membership drawing extended!!! (yep 3, !!! WTF?)
4 sheets ( 1 red 3 white) Spelling contract
1 sheet (pink) GATE meeting

I mention the colours just so you all know I'm looking at them right now.

If I can still count, I make that 9 sheets of paper.
9 sheets of paper generated for 1 child x3 = Total 27 sheets of paper a day.
27x5 days a week = 135

135 pieces of paper which I have to:-
1.Dispose of...lot of shyte
2.Keep track of...mark in my calender, then dispose of.

I PAY to have MY trash collected.
By the time I've disposed of all the School paper there's no room left in the recycle trash can for my empty wine bottles!

It's a bluddy disgrace.

If I can use e-mail (which I am happy to divulge I have mastered) so can they!

Hit for 3 empty wine bottles.
If the schools think for one minute, that by sending home copious amounts of unwanted paper, with which to fill my trash can, that they are encouraging abstinence, then they are wrong!
Because I am smarter than them.

I have a filing cabinet full of school papers ( my own small rain forest) and my recycle can is full to the brim of empty wine bottles so na na na na na.

In conclusion
Save Paper Pictures, Images and Photos

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Rock The Boat - Hughes Corporation

USPS Pictures, Images and Photos
USPS tirade.
I am so angry it's a frightful spectacle.
In fact, I'm so angry I'm considering punching myself...ouch, that feckin hurt!
My right index finger is trembling with temper as I type.

I have spent the past month shopping for Christmas Gifts for home (Scotland).
Finished last week, pressies wrapped, boxed, addressed, customs labels filled out...whew.
Off to the Post Office to get them all away Surface Mail.
(I've done it this way for a few years as it saves $$$ on postage)
Me - Hello, I'd like to send these to Scotland, surface mail please.
Wee Asian USPS Guy - No surface mail.
Me - Am I too late?
Wee Asian USPS Guy - Surface Mail finished
Me - Finished, but it's only mid November
Wee Asian USPS Guy - Finished in May this year.
Me- May? (WTF are they rowing them across the pond)
Wee Asian USPS Guy - Yes no more boats only planes.
Me - No boats ...ever?
Wee Asian USPS Guy - Boats all gone, only air mail.

I only mailed two of my boxes, $ 42.30 for one $ 40.65 for the other.
The contents probably cost less.
My mum will think Christmas has come has!
She's bad enough when presents arrive a couple of days before the 25th, can't keep her hands off them. This year there's not a hope in hell that they'll sit unopened under the tree. I adore her, big kid that she is!

I signed an on-line petition asking for the reinstatement of surface mail. 1000's of signatures on it from people like myself who only found out about the "no boats" when they went to mail stuff abroad.

I am also composing...

USPS Eejits,
WTF? I hope your happy that I can no longer afford to send stuff to my mum.
What the hell did my family ever do to you?
I mean I know my mum can be a tad yappy and my sister has her problems and my nieces tend to eat (a lot) and my aunts/uncles have their foibles and my friends are all a bit wacked ( they are my friends, what do you expect?) but to scupper a whole fleet???
A very angry boat misser.
boat sinking Pictures, Images and Photos

OMG OMG OMG THAT'S what the shipbuilding
lecture was for...God has spoken to me through WC#3

I must build my own boats.
I must build my own boats to carry Christmas presents to the UK.

I'll get right onto it.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now - The Smiths

The new pink cell phone and I have not been hitting it off.
It's far to complex for my simple needs.
It is very needy and goes out of it's way to try and get one over on me every day.
The blue tooth is no better. Sometimes it talks to me, most often not.
Which leaves me, driving along with a stupid friggin pink thing sticking out of my lug and my phone ringing in my purse!
I'm thinking this might be a more sensible alternative!
funny Pictures, Images and Photos
I told the sex bomb that the new phone and I are not in a good place.
I explained that it takes me ages to make a call.
Me - Well the buttons are different from my old phone.
SB - Buttons?
Me - Yes I don't have a wee green phone up and a wee red phone down.
SB - OOOOkkkkkaaaayyy
Me - ?
SB - show me how you make a call
Five minutes later...
SB- you really go through all of those menus?
Me- Well Duh!
SB - Hmmm, so, what do you think the red and green buttons on this phone are for?
Me- dunno
SB- Hmmm did it occur to you that they might do the same thing?
Me- Nope
SB- Hmmm because?
Me- They don't have a picture on them, how the hell would I know what they do?
SB- Hmmmmmmmmm
Meanwhile the kids are cracking up.
Me- What is wrong with this family?
SB- It's ok darlin, we need to practice call techniques a bit more, your phone doesn't hate you.
Me- Whatever you think...

Sunday, November 16, 2008

whisky for my men and beer for my horses- (other way around kinda) Willie Nelson version

Sunday Night Work Update
Horses were horrible today, with the exception of wee Talisker who was a sweetie.
Did I mention that our horses are all named (re-named) after Malt Whisky?
Friggin Spellcheck wants an "e" in the Whisky...not happening The Abbot and I are agreed on this!
I have a nice wee Talisker,

whiskey Pictures, Images and Photos
A Fiesty Dalwhinnie (Whinnie for short)

Dalwhinnie 15 yrs Pictures, Images and Photos
a "Chicken Licken" Jura,
The image “” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

a good Old Pulteney

old pulteney Pictures, Images and Photos

( good, but does spook when he farts, just an FIY)

and last but by no means least a Knockando...literally No Can Do!

knockando Pictures, Images and Photos

Of course my younger students and kids know them by either variations or "other" names.
Professional and all that!
Today the three lesson horses lived up to their names.
Whinnie decided after three circuits loping that she was done..."gonna buck you off my bad ass if you expect me to do more"
Jura had a few "Prozac" moments when she realised Whinnie was getting down with her bad self "Oh no, Oh no OH Feckin NOoooooooooooooo"
Knockandoo was in Siamese twin mode, "MaaaaaaaaaMaaaaaaaaa,...go right? No I want mama! Go left, NO, I just want mama"
I have a plan.
I have to work their wee bottoms into the ground this week.
I have a realisation.
Parelli trained horses do NOT make good lesson horses!
I know, when you give horses a voice (through natural horsemanship) you HAVE to listen.
As an advocate of Natural Horsemanship it's impossible to break the ties that bind.
As a riding instructor it's a pain in the ass...
I love my horses, I love my job, a wage would be a novelty.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

True, Spandau Ballet

Ha! Just when you thought you had got rid of me for the day here I am twaddling on about more shyte...
I've been pondering the friendliness of the thingy that makes you :
1. Put on you glasses to see the feckin letters you have to copy to comment.
2. Gets bigger and easier if you get it wrong

It tells me "This test is used to prevent automated robots from posting comments."
automated robots Pictures, Images and Photos

I think anything that gets bigger and easier to handle the more inadequate you are is one feckin BIG deal! No matter how small...

So thank you geek/nerd who was thinking about the more challenged of us when you invented this anti-automated-robot safeware.
It is appreciated.

Also works for drunks.
Drunk as hell Pictures, Images and Photos

The Cutter, Echo and The Bunnymen

For your entertainment I have decided to try and master my cut and paste skills.

Since I appreciate from the bottom of my heart, those of you who come here, of your own free will (as well as those who fall in here unexpectedly trying to get somewhere else and of those, only the ones who take the time to read anything) I am calling in my list of expert funny men to ensure you stay awake during what may be a long process.
I intend to be completely honest by giving exact time frames.
---takes a deep breath, sits up tall, right index finger warmed up ---
11.47 a.m. GO

11.49 Eddie Izzard for your pleasure:- Horseshoes are lucky. Horses have four bits of lucky nailed to their feet. They should be the luckiest animals in the world. They
should rule the country. They should win all their horse races, at least. "In the
fifth race today, every single horse was first horse threw a shoe came in third...the duck was ninth...and five ran."

11.50 Eddie: We stole countries! That's how you build an empire. We stole countries with the cunning use of flags! Sail halfway around the world, stick a flag in. "I claim India for Britain." And they're going, "You can't claim us. We live here! There's five hundred million of us." "Do you have a flag?" "We don't need a flag, this is our country you bastard!"

11.52 Eddie again...But with dogs, we do have “bad dog.” Bad dog exists. “Bad dog! Bad dog! Stole a biscuit, bad dog!” The dog is saying, “Who are you to judge me? You human beings who’ve had genocide, war against people of different creeds, colors, religions, and I stole a biscuit?! Is that a crime? People of the world!”
"Well, if you put it that way, I think you've got a point. Have another biscuit,sorry."

11.55 Ricky Gevaise (David Brent) : “What is the single most important thing for a company? Is it the building? Is it the stock? Is it the turnover? It’s the people, investment in people. My proudest moment here wasn’t when I increased profits by 17%, or cut expenditure without losing a single member of staff. No. It was a young Greek guy, first job in the country, hardly spoke a word of English, but he came to me and he went ‘Mr. Brent, will you be the Godfather to my child?’. Didn’t happen in the end. We had to let him go, he was rubbish. He was rubbish!”

12.00 Ali G : One time when me was high, me sold me car for like 24 chicken McNuggets.

12.05 Borat: Democracy is different in America. For example: women can vote but horse can not!

12.07 Robin Williams : “Do you think God gets stoned? I think so . . . look at the platypus.

12.08 Robin: Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.

Ok now for some pics.

12.08 Thank you Eddie
eddie izzard banner Pictures, Images and Photos
12.10 Thank you Ricky
David Brent Pictures, Images and Photos
12.12 Thank you Ali G
Ali G Pictures, Images and Photos
12.14 Thank you Borat
borat Pictures, Images and Photos
12.15 Thank you Robin
Robin Williams Pictures, Images and Photos

12.20 That's all folks. Mission accomplished. Thank you for your patience and have a Happy Saturday.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Sarcastic Farewell by Bleed The Dream

Sarcasm Pictures, Images and Photos
Sarcasm, the best thing Scotland has to offer.

I'm on my high horse today,again,regarding the non-existence of sarcasm here in California.
California specifically because our friends from other states do not suffer from this condition.

SB and I had a long chat about it this morning and agreed wholeheartedly that we find ourselves in annoying situations because we cannot resort to our natural instincts and just be feckin sarcastic because:-

1.We wouldn't bluddy dare do it here for fear of committing a mortal sin.
2.We wouldn't bother here because the effort would be wasted...WHOOOOSH over the head.

Scenario dependent upon recipient.

Back in Scotland sarcasm is regarded as wonderful tool which allows you to talk back but not cause offense.
It's referred to as " half jokin, fu' earnest"
This a.m., SB sits down with a cup of coffee.
Me - Where's mine?
SB - In the pot.
Now that's funny!
We made a decision.
To stop being all touchy, feely and get back down with our bad selves.
If anyone on the receiving end is offended, tough.
off Pictures, Images and Photos

For those, who shall remain oblivious, YES we're laughing at YOU!
sarcasm Pictures, Images and Photos
sarcasm Pictures, Images and Photos

I am really looking forward to being normal again!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Cuts Like a Knife by Brian Adams

Those of you who know me, know that I am "The Best Shopper" ever.
Those of you who don't know me should!
My girlfriends hate me for it and the sex bomb is the envy of their husbands/boyfriends.
Nothing tickles me as much as this:-

Girlfriend- Oh I LOVE your dress, it's so cute, where did you get it?
Me - Thrift Store $2.50

I get all warm and fuzzy inside. I am empowered by Thrift Stores, Dollar Tree, Grocery Outlet and Ross.
Debra Jackson agrees with me.
No Need to Dress Up to Go Shopping.. Pictures, Images and Photos
Those days dear reader may have come to an end.
It's just too much humility.
Too much shame.
I can no longer pretend that it's okay and no-one else notices.
If it were Macys, Nordstrom, JC Penny I might be able to suffer in silence.
If it were Armani, Gucci, Prada I would suck it up totally.

But to be asked, on three separate occasions in three different stores if I "qualify" for SENIOR FECKIN DISCOUNT is unbearable.

Have you seen the tellers in Ross? In Goodwill? In The Dollar Tree?
If they have a tooth between them they're smokin...
Not to mention uni brows, uni boobs and every other uni imaginable.
I have suffered their bad breath and armpit aromas without comment.
Stood patiently as they take 10 minutes to put two items in a plastic bag. They have real issues with plastic bags but do you hear me complain?
Waited without shuffling my feet and sighing as they send for a price check.
I've shown nothing but kindness and this is the result...

What to do?
I looked long and hard in the mirror.
No clue who the old bitch looking back was.
When Grandma learns to email Pictures, Images and Photos
My reckoning. It's going to cost $1000's to take me back to my 30's. Surgery,pain,downtime.
Is it worth it?
Hell NO!
Just think of how much shopping I can do for a mere $20.
Ball cap, shades and some lippy TaDa! A total makeover.
Or there's always old faithful?
Shame Pictures, Images and Photos

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

God Only Knows by the Beach Boys

A US court has rejected a case brought against God by an American politician. Ernie Chambers, the longest-serving senator in the state of Nebraska, tried to use the courts to stop God from harming people. Mr. Chambers, 71, filed a lawsuit that ordered God to stop causing "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants". He listed examples of the terrible things God allows to happen on Earth, including "fearsome floods, horrendous hurricanes, earthquakes, plagues, famine, genocidal wars, birth defects, terrifying tornadoes and the like". Chambers said the “defendant”, God, has not apologized for any of the troubles brought to Earth, saying the Almighty has shown “neither compassion nor remorse”.

god Pictures, Images and Photos

The court judge threw Mr. Chambers’ case out on a technicality. Nebraska state law requires all defendants in court cases to have an address. This is so state officials can deliver papers requesting the defendant attends court. Mr. Chambers disputed this. He said the court acknowledged the existence of God and because of this, it knew God was everywhere so there was no need for a street address. He added that: "Since God knows everything, God has notice of this lawsuit." Mr. Chambers’ real reason for his actions is not because he has any grudge against God. He said he simply wants to show that law courts are open and available to anyone. He said: "Anyone can sue anyone they choose, even God." The senator has 30 days to decide whether to appeal against the ruling.

GOD IN PC Pictures, Images and Photos

God Only Computes...

Only in America...

Shipbuilding by Elvis Costello

The new "dawg" is in the house.
Following numerous voting recounts (pah) his name is Fiddle...fiddle-faddle, fiddle-dee-dee.
The trip to Oakland went without traffic or pedestrian incident. Boooo said the crowd.
WC#3 accompanied me as "navigator" and for some reason thought it prudent that he relay to me his knowledge of ship building.
I suppose you never know when you'll need to build a ship.
Well grow me a beard and call me Noah.
Ship building Pictures, Images and Photos
At least I think that's what he was twittering about...lost interest after 30 seconds and totally zoned out around the 45 second mark.
My driving was 100% enhanced as I focused on the road to block out the droning in my lug.
I must take WC#3 with me more often when I need to concentrate on my driving.

Fiddle Facts: Fridays Fiddle was so Fat it wasn't even funny.
Fat Dog Pictures, Images and Photos
Fridays Fiddle was instantly put on a diet and exercise regime
Fridays Fiddle huffed and puffed upstairs to bed, thought we were going to have to resuscitate him half way up.
Sundays Fiddle ran up the stairs four or five times, almost no asthmatic symptoms.
Mondays Fiddle jumped up on the sofa for the first time. Ok so he had to take a run at it, missed a couple of times and took a nose traction on the wooden floors but he did it.
Today's Fiddle was running around like a puppy, alert and wanting to play.
Fiddle and Banjo are sorting out some issues.
No Fear Pictures, Images and Photos

Sex Bomb arrived home with a luverrly load of laundry.
Also managed to pick up an in-flight flu bug which he most generously shared, hence my posting/ comment tardiness.
Spent most of yesterday in bed feeling like I had a tribe of pygmies in my head having a party.
Lighting bonfires in my throat, peeing down my nose, the wee shytes dancing and banging drums
all day long.
They have subsided somewhat today but there are a few stalwarts much to my chagrin.
pygmies Pictures, Images and Photos
pygmy brigade Pictures, Images and Photos

Tomorrow will be a better day!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Have I Told You Lately by Van the Man

It's a late night blog here in Cali.
Usually, I like to read all my mentors blogs a.m. , comment, write my own shyte for the day, regret not being smarter, then get down to business or lack of thereof!
Horses don't mind. In fact they LUV it!

laughing horse Pictures, Images and Photos

I like "lack of thereof"

Today was a day.
Single Mom Syndrome.
I have it every time the SB goes off on a "business" trip.
It goes like this:-
Day 1 Oh , This sucks, miss him, this is a bummer
Day 2 Oh, Not so much laundry, kids are behaving, this is ooookkkaay
Day 3 Oh, Not so much laundry, we're into a routine, kids are angels,
no cooking at 9p.m, this is easy
Day 4 And I'm married because???
Tomorrow he'll come home with a weeks worth of laundry and turn my world upside down... oh ,"That's" why I married him...

This a.m.
8:15 to be precise.
Van The Man is on the radio..."Have I told You Lately"
WT - I like this song
Me - Me too
VAN MORRISON Pictures, Images and Photos
Wt - Daddy put it on my Ipod
Me - Well sweetie, it's me and Daddy's song
Wt - huh?
Me - Centuries ago, Daddy and I went to a Van Morrison concert at Edinburgh Castle.
Wt- You did?
Me- Yep and as we sat(slouched) on the wall of a bar,
waiting for the gates to open
your Daddy asked me to marry him.
Wt- omg mom, that's so romantic, what exactly did Daddy say?
( didn't have the heart to tell her..." you doin anything first Saturday in May?")
Me - Well, after he got down on one knee...
Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy ,Santa, parenthood behooves the best of liars!
Hurry home babe.
Miss your Laundry
Lovies Fxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Van da man

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Change by Tears for Fears

Welcome back BOB!

Bob the Builderr. Pictures, Images and Photos

I'm delighted to see Bob back to his old self. Thank you Mr Obama.
I am aware that he did try to work with "W" and of the dire consequences his attempt had.
bob the builder Pictures, Images and Photos

We all love a happy "Bobby" ( do you use that word? If not then the joke is a wash)
A happy Bobby and a winning "erection" - see Moog
Today is ANOTHER wonderful day.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Dude (looks like a lady) by Aerosmith

Two hours.
Three glasses of Shiraz, 20 Fags( Fags=ciggies) and a warm bath by candlelight later.
I have managed to copy a picture (of the "new", to be, addition) to my Blog.
Took me five hours the last time so I am improving dear reader.
The Sex Bomb called from Boston ( he's away on business) and suggested Fiddle instead of Piccolo for a name.
I kinda liked Banjo and Piccolo.
His name at the moment is Ipida.
So I'm going to have a ballot!
Just to piss you all off!
The winning name will be duly given to the pup!
Just look at that wee face...awwwwwww. Too cute to be a boy! but he is:-)

Today by The Smashing Pumpkins

Today, this momentous day, which will go down in the annuls of History.

Today, when thousands of Americans will be making their way to the Polls, to cast their vote.
vote 08 Pictures, Images and Photos
Today, the whole country will await the outcome and let us pray that the wait is short and the people have made the right choice.

Today, as you know I can only be with you in my thoughts, being an Alien and all.
Today I decided to try and do something good. Something worthwhile.
Today I drove all by myself to Oakland.
That was a BIG deal for me.
Look can ya see me??
traffic Pictures, Images and Photos

I drive in a square, School, Ranch, Store Gas Station.
I have driven in squares or shapes thereof for 9 years.
I don't do cities.
Rest assured that if you sat beside me in the car for more than five minutes you would be thanking the guy upstairs for that one!
I arrived in the city white knuckled with elevated blood pressure.
I did have one little incident as I "brushed" past a parked van.
Kinda lost a wing mirror somewhere in the snuggle but other than that I did it!
Oh and I suppose I should admit to scaring a few pedestrians shitless as I proceeded on my mission.
funny Pictures, Images and Photos
The good and worthwhile thing was not terrorizing innocent bystanders and making the roads unsafe(er), as I said I was on a Mission.
I went to check out a new Doggie.
His owner cannot take care of him any more and he was headed for the shelter.
He's a Sheltie/Corgi mix and I'm going to call him Piccolo.
We'll have a huge ...
Levin mandolin banjo M-50 1941 Pictures, Images and Photos
And a wee ...
a piccolo Pictures, Images and Photos

Shoot I've squished the poor wee thing already.
Oh well.

I will be going back to pick him up on Friday.

It was very emotional and his present owner needed a couple of days to say bye bye to him.
So as of Friday I'll be mommy to 3 kids, 5 Horses, 2 Dogs and 1 Husband.
Today is a good day!

Monday, November 3, 2008

Celebrate by Kool and The Gang

The results are in!
Fighting his way to the Winners Circle despite tough competition,
The Abbotofunreason got "the wee doggies head "
It was indeed the beautiful Kingdom of Fife.
And now for the promised PRIZE!

Free Kiss Pictures, Images and Photos

Onto todays waffling...

Remember Remember the 5th of November Gunpowder Treason and Plot etc etc

Well the timing of this Election could not have been worse.
The day after the new President is elected we (if British custom is to be upheld) build a huge ass Bonfire, stick an effigy on top and burn the fecker!
And that's going to go down well here in these US and As, ya think?
Yep it's 400+years since old Guy Fawkes was ratted out and thus gave us a reason to have some fun.

This year I think we'll just have to light the fire and throw a "Ken" doll on it.
Yep ,there is the man himself, all togged out in his best Californian duds.
Beach Fun! (a Ken doll) Pictures, Images and Photos

Fireworks in the living room , not a good idea.

House On Fire #2 Pictures, Images and Photos

I'll light some candles and wave them around a bit for effect.
I can even tip two together for a spectacular finale!

candles Pictures, Images and Photos

Ah well, as they say "What ya gonna do"