Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Here Comes The Sun by the Beatles

I've been somewhat tardy with my Blogging recently because the weather is beautiful here!
Nice Spring weather = WORK
Life is pretty laid back during the winter months, what are you gonna do?
It's dark, wet and miserable.
I know! Write ! Write my Blog to be specific.
Then the bluddy sun comes out and pricks your conscience like...well like a prick I guess?
It's easy to self justify doing diddlysquat on a rainy day.

funny, icon, saying, rain Pictures, Images and Photos

Nah, no point, the horses are wet and "smellier" than usual and the ground is only fit for mud wrestling...hmmm.

Nah, everything looks pretty clean (what with my OCD and all)

Yard work?
It's feckin raining ya Eejit! Grass has conveniently stopped growing ( nature is a wonderful thing)
The weeds are hibernating and all my lovely planters are empty.

Then I wake up innocently ( I'm always innocent for the first 5 seconds before I open my eyes)
and there she is, Miss Bluddy Sunshine.

OF COURSE! Those poor horses need turned out. They need to be ridden. They need to be excercised. Oh and grain, they need grain EVERY day. Cleaning tack, get it done!

OMFG When were those windows last washed? Look at the baseboards! Every minuscule particle of dust glaring in the blinding sunlight. OCD OCD...duster in one hand, polish in the other stick a broom up my arse I'm on a MISSION.

Yard Work?
So the grass managed to grow 4inches in one night ( Ah my, if only SB were a lawn...sighs)
Every feckin weed in town has decided to sleep over in MY yard and the sun has woken each and every one of the wee shytes up!

That was a long winded excuse for being busy = exhausted.

Sunshine Pictures, Images and Photos

Friday, March 27, 2009

Voices by Randy Orton

What's it called when you hear voices in your head?
I know there's a real word for it...

Sybil Pictures, Images and Photos

That's it.
Well, I've caught it.
I hope it's not contagious because I'll go crazy if the other four people I live with get it!
Oh, wait, I AM crazy aren't I?
Why am I asking you? Your all as daft as brushes!
(Where did that phrase come from I wonder? "Daft as a brush" Is it a Scottish thing?)

My present "condition" is worse in the mornings and around dinner time, it can be quite irksome.
Let me set the scene.
I have a dishwasher! Wooohooo for me.
The Dishwasher fits nice and snug under the COUNTER.
Every morning, no exceptions, SB has breakfast, rinses his coffee mug, cereal bowl and spoon.
He then places them ON THE COUNTER!
WTF is with that? HUH?
Now, as if that's not enough to make you go "Sybil", the young people I am forced to share this house with, have decided that "Daddy knows best"
They all leave for School/Work...and Sybil kicks in...
I need you to imagine wee thought bubbles here because Stage4 Sybil has not yet set in,( talking out loud to myself ) it's close though, really close!
For the sake of interpretation I will refer to my thoughts/voices as Things I and II

Thing I - Well lookie lookie! (all smarmy like)
Thing II - Yes dear I know ( all sheepish like)
Thing I - He is incapable of putting his feckin dirty dishes in the dishwasher!
Thing II - He was in a rush this morning
Thing I - Rush my feckin arse! He's just a lazy bas$%&%d
Thing II - No,no,no, he just wasn't thinking
Thing I - How feckin much "thinking" does it take to RINSE and PUT IN THE DISHWASHER!
Thing II - Oh stop being a NUMPTY!
Thing I - I'M the numpty!?
Sooooo if YOU don't load all the dishes they're just going to sit there till he gets home?
Thing II - Don't be silly dear you know I've got OCD
Thing I - So does he sweetie, so does he...

Dinner is pretty much more of the same.
Any other Sybil sufferers out there?
Maybe we could start a Club? ( that was Thing II talking, right there)
Thing I, wants to start a GANG!

Even the Dishwasher has an opinion on this. I know because it tells me so.

Dishwasher - SB and small humans I have only this to say...

Dishwasher Pictures, Images and Photos

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Just To See You Smile by Tim McGraw

Teeth are going to bankrupt us.
Five sets of pearly whites do not come cheap here in the US.
We Scots don't have the "good teeth" gene, we just don't...
Of course our diet leaves a lot to be desired when it comes to healthy teeth.
As kids, some of the most common snacks were :
A Sugar sandwich ( yep, a heap of sugar on two slices of bread, if you were "posh" you'd have butter on it too)
A grated apple - sprinkled with sugar
A sliced banana - sprinkled with sugar
A stalk of Rhubarb picked from the garden
( with a wee bag of sugar to dip it in )

I'm thinking I should bill my mum for all of my dental expenses!
That's a joke mum!
(She's got herself a PC and may have figured out how to get here...yeah, more on that soon...)

The kids are all at the "needs braces" age.
Kid with braces!

teeth! Pictures, Images and Photos

I'm sure I could do this myself if I only had the right tools!
(go check out BILBO 's post today all about tools, hilarious)
I personally have more "bridges" than the feckin "Bay"
Here's why.
30+ years ago in Scotland, Dentists were "extraction" gurus.
You only ever went to the Dentist if you had a toothache.
There was no such thing as a check up ( kinda sad when I look back and realise it was all FREE)
Your front six teeth, top and bottom had the advantage over anything beyond.
They would be filled, polished, get the "royal" treatment.
The rest?
Like this as I recall

Demon Scottish Dentist - So the pains in that wee tooth? Second premolar nurse!
Me - Aye
DSD - let's have a wee smile then lassie
Me- grimace grin ( I'm in pain here folks! and I'm only 12)
DSD - Och aye, ye cannae see it when ye smile (smiling)
Me - ?
DSD - Extraction nurse!

And so on and so forth over a decade...hence the "bridges"

My kids don't know how lucky they are!
We will be poor as church mice but we'll be smiling all the while!
We BETTER be smiling and showing off the cause of our poverty.
I've told my girls that when I "pass" they have to make sure they get my Bridges and Crowns.
That's their inheritance.
That's where all the money went.
Gold, Diamonds, Jewels ? Forget it.
My teeth are the only thing I possess that's cost $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

angelo Pictures, Images and Photos

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Like A Virgin by Madonna

I have no idea what's going on!
I had the TV on "mute" and when I glanced at it,
Pres Obama was yakkin away ( I know this cos his lips were moving)
He was on the news and the title thingy that comes up at the bottom of the screen, read "Dicktater"
I had to look twice, thrice even! Oh my, it just doesn't seem right... to me.
I'll listen to the late news to find out why "Da Pres" is being called a "Willypotato"
Why was the TV on mute? I hear you asking yourself!
If you didn't ask yourself, then please pretend you did or this post ain't going anywhere fast.
I will NOT keep you in suspenders any longer my dear, darling, reader - sucking up big time -
The TV was on mute BECAUSE I was having a wee breakdown!
OH NO! cried the fan...see I like to think I'm talking to each and every one of you on a personal level - more sucking up-
Back to the wee breakdown.
As you may (or may not) know WT is in fourth Grade.
I'm pretty confident that my US readers "get it"
For those of you in the UK, read on dear hearts!
For some reason, known only to fourth grade teachers I suspect...
( Just had a family meeting to decide how to write the first four notes of Beethoven's 5th, DEE marginally beat DA)

Just for effect *rep*


She, We, that would be I, am expected to create a model of Santa Cruz Mission.

Mission Santa Cruz_0010 Pictures, Images and Photos

*Laughing hysterically*
Using...get this...Items found in and around the Home.
The whole thing has to be less than 18"x18", Feckin Mission Lilliput!
Oh, I know, lets get those tiny bells I keep handy in the bottom kitchen drawer, you know , just in case I feel the urge to build A FECKIN MISSION!
church bell Pictures, Images and Photos

Oh and don't forget the minuscule friggin wooden door -" top shelf of the laundry"

door to the church Pictures, Images and Photos

See I always knew that wee door would come in handy!
I'm spinning people, spinning I tell ya!
*aside* TCI escaped the torment of the 4th Grade "mission proj" as we were moving house/schools and she managed to wiggle her wee bahooky out of it.
Which leaves me, a VIRGIN MISSION BUILDER!
All suggestions, ideas, sympathy will be MOST appreciated.
*note to self* feedback will determine <> sucking up.
I love you all...

Saturday, March 21, 2009

As Good As I Once Was - Toby Keith

I don't usually post twice in one day but I feel the need to share.
SB is broken.
A physically broken specimen of maleness.
It's not pretty.
He's walking around- barely- in a OMG I've pooooooped my pants kinda way.
Reeking of Icy Hot.
Poor Baby?
NO feckin Eejit!
Two things happened to him this morning.

Clarification- I was NOT either of them!

1. He tried to get on his horse (bareback) from the rail of the Round Corral.
He's done it a million times.
Today, Talisker decide to walk off just as SB swung his leg over!
SB on his arse, in the dirt, Talisker looking at him like was a jackass - smart horse!

Did this cause the "broken" body?


SB decides to "right" himself, from flat on his back to Homo-sapien UPRIGHT...get this
By doing a feckin BACKFLIP!

*aside * he assures me that in his "soccer" days it was the "only" way to get back on yer feet!

Backflip Pictures, Images and Photos

Yeah, well thats as maybe but those days are long gone darlin!

So picture this, or not ( for those of you out there with more "delicate constitutions")

SB lunges backwards, forgetting two important details!
1. He is now OLD and OUT OF SHAPE

Handicap Fall Down Pictures, Images and Photos

2. Relevant in it's own way...he's wearing a cowboy hat ( now feckin SQUISHED)

He gets to the point, of both legs, up in the air, 90deg, when...OMFG his back LOCKS!

right after she fell flat on her back. hilarious Pictures, Images and Photos

Sad but true!
The mind was willing but the body was way smarter!

Bewitched,Bothered and Bewildered by Ella Fitzgerald

I'm being completely overwhelmed by technology at the moment.
What with "the blog" ( I've created a playlist and am trying to get it to "shuffle"), Facebook and now something called Bebo ( my wee sister has got me involved in this one) I'm exhausted...
I have been playing Club Penguin with WT and it seems much more my style!

Club Penguin Pictures, Images and Photos

Hell, you get a wee penguin to waddle around AND you can collect Puffles!
Behold, PUFFLES at play!

club penguin Pictures, Images and Photos

I did not know that Penguins had pets!
That's all...
Got to go teach people how NOT to terrorize horses.
Then come home and play with my wee Penguin...awwwwwwww

Thursday, March 19, 2009

I'm Free by The Rolling Stones

I was pondering over my St Patricks day post and it occurred to me just how much of a pain in the bahooky I am...sometimes
Hell, if I was a 20something American, with a drizzle of Irish blood flowing in my veins I'd be first out of the gate and into the nearest pub!
365 days of the feckin YEAR!
That said, I still think the old guy was a jerk.

Which leads me quite nicely into, what makes us who we are?
My earliest childhood recollection is of a huge picture on my Grannies living room wall.
(Dads mum)
I was terrified of it.
That bluddy eye, following me around the room! The weird shapes surrounding it.
I was too young to even ask about it, all I knew was, that it was scary.

freemason Pictures, Images and Photos

A few years later I became aware of the fact that my dad went out every Wednesday night, wearing an APRON!
He also wore a ring with the same markings as the PICTURE.
In my innocence I never questioned the fact that I had an Uncle Mason and two cousin Masons'.
It probably should have given me a clue huh?
I mean lets face it, it was hardly a Family secret!
- Oh, let me introduce you to Mason...the Mason
By the time I understood the relevance of the "picture", apron, ring and names it was all quite a normal part of my life.
My Grandpa and two of my Uncles were Masters. It was a good thing. It was something to be proud of.
BUT it was a secret! I can't ever remember being told not to talk about it, but am very aware that I never did.
I was intrigued with my dads "wee book" Which he would let me read in the knowledge that the contents meant nothing to me.
So I was indoctrinated.
When I was 18, I dated a guy who worked as a Slater for a large construction company.
He met me one night, in a foul mood, ranting and raving about "Masonic Bastards" at his work!
I was totally stunned.
People "out there" didn't think it was a good thing?
These days it's something I think about occasionally.
When you have been brought up with certain family beliefs it is difficult to break away.
Do I agree with the Freemasonry?
All I know is, that had I been born a male...just gimme a funny handshake and call me Mason!

P.S. I found out not that long ago that my mum was a member of the Order of the Eastern Star.
When I asked her about it she said - "Oh, we danced a lot"
I'm wondering if Lilu and her Stanky Leg would qualify for membership!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The Wearin' O' The Green - Irish Folk, Traditional

Today I saw an old man walking along the street here in town.
Nothing unusual about that you might think?
OMFG, unusual does NOT even begin to describe him.
Top to bottom or bottom to top?
Lets go bottom to top...yes I did say that!

Shoes - white sneakers
Knee high socks - GREEN
Skirt! I shit you not darlins!
I think? it was supposed to be some kind of Kilt but no, alas, it was a WOMANS skirt...in charcoal grey, pleated...
T-Shirt - green with a humungus shamrock in "bling" (a wee bit o' the diamante )
Hat - Felt, Top Hat, green and white strips.

Walking along the street, Happy as a Sandboy!
It's just WRONG.
What is the matter with these people?
To clarify, Eejits like "the above" would be laughed right OUT OF IRELAND !
I am deadly ( but you knew that!) serious when I say that I am GLAD yes, GLAD, that "our" patron Saint, (that would be St Andrew, for those of you not in the know) is NOT recognised here.
It's sacrilege.
A mockery.
To all of those who claim Irish heritage...today would be a good day to go to church.

Aye it's a sad state of affairs but HEY lets put green dye in beer, wear feckin STUPID clothes and have a FECKIN PARADE...Go TEAM USA!

Oh my, I may have just lost all of my readers...

Friday, March 13, 2009

The Sound of Music by Rog & Ham


That's what it's called.
Kids K - 12th Grade have to present a scientific project.
WT being WT decided that she wanted to participate.
I completed her entry form following her decision to go for it...hmmmm
They are very specific about the project requirements.
Three sided poster board, measuring 24inches(H) by 48inches (W)
Ok, thats easy, YA THINK?
Guess what dear reader?
Oh, go on, guess fer feck, sake it'll do you good to wiggle your brain cell.
Ok, ok, the answer is, it doesn't EXIST!
I found this out having spent a whole damn morning,
in every store I could think of, looking for the bluddy thing.
Trust me when I say, you can buy a plethora of poster board,in every variation of size, EXCEPT the size "they" required.
Exhausted and looking all stressed ( buttons undone, wild hair, flushed cheeks...wait...was that the night before? No matter, the general aura of dishevelment remains the same)

Stressed! Pictures, Images and Photos

I stumbled into the last store on my list, running around frantically looking for "IT"

Wee side note : I don't talk in stores. I hate it.
I'm a talker, impossible to shut up most of the time but NOT in stores.
Even after 10 years here in the US, I still have somewhat of an "accent" and cannot stand the glazed look on store peoples faces when I talk to them.
I used to find it embarrassing but now it just pisses me off. It's just rude..
With no disrespect to anyone who has English as a second language, explain this to me people!

Wee Asian Wifie - Ah Lookie fo a potabode
Store Assistant - Yes, ma'am, poster board is on Isle 3.

Wee Scottish Wifie ( in best POSH Edinburgh accent) - Excuse me, I'm looking for Poster Board?
Store Assistant (glazed look, head tilted to one side) - I, ehmm , your looking for "a booster bower"?


This happens ALL THE TIME.
It's ridiculous.
Isn't it?
Ach, this post has taken on a life of it's own...again
Suffice to say the "last" store had an English sales assistant!
Yes, I'll talk to "them" given dire circumstances ...hehehe
She took me to the poster boards, explaining that they didn't come in the sizes I needed but that it was the same every year at Science Project time...you just buy a bigger size and CUT it!
Poster board duly bought.
Let the fun begin?

Title of WTs project ; The Sound of Music

Her Question ; What causes the strings on a Musical Instrument to make different sounds?

More to follow, I'm exhausted and that was just buying the feckin board!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Talk Dirty To Me by Poison

SB goes on business trips quite often and the "phone calls" home, tend to be a pain in the bahooky.
There are the time differences and the lengthy pauses, following the quick "how's everything" update.
THIS trip I suggested that he set up a Facebook account so that we could "chat" online.
He did.
It was ...interesting...
We were like a bluddy comedy act gone awry.
I hadn't considered the "lag" when suggesting this move into the "new age of technology"
We were answering questions, three or four questions/comments later.
Kinda like this:

Me - Are you missing me?
SB - Nah, it's better than last time.
Me - WHAT? Your not missing me?
SB - Lamb stew and a beer. It was quite tasty.
Me -What are you wittering about?
SB - Of course I love you!

It was mental!
I should have studied. They have books for people like us you know!

Instant Messaging For Dummies Pocket Edition Book Pictures, Images and Photos

Lots of fun though and here's the interesting part, at least I thought it was interesting.
SB was LOL fun on-line! ( He's funny anyway but...) and "quite" the romantic!
Had I not known who I was chatting to, I would have been hard pushed to recognise him.
It went both ways,
SB - Your feckin Crazy in here! I love it!

Perhaps we should give upon verbal communication and just sit at the kitchen table IM(ing)?
Or alternatively...

The First Instant Messaging Pictures, Images and Photos

Something to ponder...

Monday, March 9, 2009

Hyperactive by Thomas Dolby

Oh my, Oh my...
SB arrived back home on Saturday having spent a week in Yerevan,Armenia.
More to follow on THAT!
Suffice to say last week I, was the :
1. Best parent
2. Worst parent
3. Housework Diva
4. lonely...
Well he's back now and so begin the "conversations"

Which leads quite obliquely into "Table manners"
Specifically the use of cutlery!
Knives and forks to be even more pedantic...
So dear readers i give you, for the first time EVER, a GUEST INTERVIEW!
Let me introduce to you, the one, the ONLY ( thank feck...eejit ) SB!
Me - How was your trip?
SB - great
Me - Great? Better than home then?
SB - *pathetic* no ( he IS well trained)
Me- Shut the fuck up playing Paul Simon - Down in the schoolyard

Acoustic bass guitars Pictures, Images and Photos

SB - Ohhh feck...it's no that!
Me - Aye it is!
SB _Nah remember Prague 1993?
Me - Feck yer right!
SB - WTF was it?
Me - 4 non blondes!!! * check Mikes video of 4 chords*

4 NON BLONDES Pictures, Images and Photos

* timeout for guitar/singing EXTRAVAGANZA *
ME - Did you eat out?
SB - It's a fuckin interview ask me about the weather...things ( apparently I'm "leading " the witness)
SB- eat out ..yeah
SB - Ok I can't interview, it's pish, I need to do a guest post!
SB- dinnae tell the feckers what it's aboot! It's a RANT, no(t) interview material!
This is as much as I'm going to achieve tonight...
Guest post coming soon...
Don't say I didn't warn you!
P.S. SB, IS da bomb!

SB- ( fuckin Eejitism personified!)

Friday, March 6, 2009

Pony Song by Edith Frost

I've decided to share a bit more of my daily life with all of you, dear readers.
A Typical Day for Me!
I have a "Peter Pan" and a "Jigsaw"...sigh

You can decide for yourself which one of the "Ladies" I most resemble!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Fabulous - High School Musical

Do I come across as completely Stupid?
The was a Rhetorical Question, Bilbo, Mike, LA,...ET AL
I think I am!
For real.
Last night was TCIs High School Induction thingy.
See! I don't even know what the heck it was called.
We sat in the auditorium for an hour, listening to a presentation from the Principal.
I have no clue what the man was yabbering about.
I was not off to a good start when I realised I'd forgotten my specs.
(Where's Mike when you need him, huh?)
I couldn't make out a darned thing on the presentation screen, which resulted in me giggling like a nervous lunatic, every time the hoards exploded with laughter.
Me - I cannae see!
TCI - Shush mom will ya!
Me - But I cannae see!
TCI - Shhhhhhhhhhh

And Mommys mouth was shut! Would have been just as well shutting my bluddy eyes as well, for all the good they were doing...
But I digress ( nothing new there)
How the hell does this country's school system work?
I'm totally baffled
Now maybe I am indeed an old fart but here's how it was, back in the day.
Fiona goes to High School,
( we don't have Middle School in Scotland, so you start HS at around 11 or 12 years old)
Arrive Day 1 ( no induction thingy prior)
100's of 1st years milling around.
We were called into houses based on second names.
We were handed a time table.
We were told to go and find our first class.
The Time Table (class schedule for all you guys)
English, Maths (yes we say it with an "s") History, Geography, Chemistry, Biology, Physics and French/German ( luck of the draw) PE twice a week, Music, Cookery (girls) Woodwork (boys)
There was NO CHOICE!
In third year you selected 8 "O" Grade Subjects from the above. ( if you were clever)
Fourth year sat "O"Grade Exams
Fifth year selected up to six "Higher Grade" subjects ( based on "O"Grade results) sat Highers Exam
No not quite! We went to school from 9a.m. till 4p.m. 5 days a week. MANDATORY
2weeks off at Christmas
i week off Easter
6 weeks off Summer
1 week off Autumn
No "Teacher training" Days
No "Public Holidays"

Here! Now! Class of 2013!
Freshman year (WTF is this Freshman thing? Fresh as opposed to stale?)
Mandatory English BUT you can choose whether you want to do the "easy" English or the "hard" English
Mandatory Social Studies BUT same deal as above
Mandatory Math hmmm easy class or hard one?
Mandatory Language (at least that seems right)
But hey kids guess what? You don't need to do these subjects all year! Woohoo
Get them outta the way, fast as you can!
Guess what else?
YOU get to choose whether you want to do 4 subjects and go to school from 8a.m. - 1:45p.m.
Take 5 subjects and go 9.20 to 3.05.
Oh well lets face it EVERY 13 year old given THAT choice is going to want to go 9.20 - 3.05, right?
Then of course we have "Electives" which include, Healthy Living, Foods for Singles ( I shit you not!)Fashion Apparel, Consumer Survival? You couldn't make this stuff up!
Has a Village lost it's idiot? HERE I AM! COOEY, OVER HERE!
According to the Principal :
" We do not want our students to remember facts and figures! We want our students to be active thinkers!"
Well doesn't that just put a parents mind at rest?
So you have no clue how to solve a Trig problem (cos you got that out of the way months ago) but you are adept at actively thinking about what your going to have for lunch, being single and all...
I'm despairing here.
One thing became VERY clear though!
Why, when I say I come from Scotland most Americans reply "Oh that's in England right?"
Bet you they did REALLY well in "Fashion Apparel"!

Girls Navy Jumper Pictures, Images and Photos

Teen vogue  - Photo shoot. Pictures, Images and Photos

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Dance me to death by Gary Driver

Down to business.
It's rather interesting being old(er) and possessing a youngish child.
Wait did I say that right?
Child possession, possessed child.
No matter, both equally fitting methinks.
WT is on a mission.
She's always on missions about something or other but this one has ME as it's focal point.
Some female called "Hannah Montana" ( who would give their child a name like that?)
has released new song.
But here's the rub, it's not just a song, oh no!
There's a Dance that goes along with it.
WT has determined that, not only must Mommy learn the words to this song, Mommy has to learn the dance!
I'm feckin wiped!
I've been Polka Dottin and Country-fying for hours!
My "Hawk in the sky" is somewhat reminisce of Al Jolsens "Mammy" moves.
waving hands Pictures, Images and Photos

The 180 turn has my "Whirling Dervish" impersonation written all over it!
Look at those Dervishes Whirl will you! Nothing beats a good old Whirling Dervish I always say.

whirling dervishes Pictures, Images and Photos

I defy any of you (over 40) to attempt this!
At your own risk of course...make sure you have full medical cover.
Worst part of all? I can't get the damn song outta my head!

HOEDOWN SHOWDOWN get the moves going , boom boom clap de clap!

I'm going to have a lie down before she gets home from school and I have to "pop it, lock it"

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Take it Easy byThe Eagles

Well Boobie Sunday seemed to be quite a tit...oops typo! HIT, HIT,HIT.
So how to keep the readers interest?
More Boobies would be the obvious/easy answer.
Thing is while I've always been "easy" I tend not to be"obvious"
Easy and/or Obvious...
Hell yes!
Being easy is easy!
Trying not to be obvious about it, is a wee bit trickier.
Strategies, arrows in yer quiver! Oh my THAT sounded a tad obvious...
A gal needs arrows, good ones.
Oh jeebus I'm sounding like "Robin friggin Hood"

hood Pictures, Images and Photos

In days of old...I was quite Foxy

Robin Hood Pictures, Images and Photos

Oh my, this Post is just not working the way it was supposed to!
I think I have subconscious tight buying needs?
A "Robin" wannabe?
No STOCKINGS going on here!
What can I say...
The gals will get it!
The lads...not so much
I hope?

Sunday, March 1, 2009

How Long - Jackson Browne

I think it's time for a Boobie Sunday!
And the crowd goes wild!...does one reader constitute a crowd?
I am quite adept at "solo" crowd creation. I'm quite noisy.
I could hire myself out, as a crowd.
Parties for sad people with no friends, weddings for couples who hate their in-laws etc
Hey I could be on to something here folks!
If I offer LA 50% of the hiring fee , we could even do stadium events, for groups everyone hates or teams with no supporters...hmmmmmm
Enough of that nonsense, moving onwards and upwards and "supporters" bringing me back on track...in my case gravitational forces have eliminated any upward boobie "stance".

Saggy Pictures, Images and Photos

That's sad.
That's yucky.
Sorry, if you were eating breakfast and had a rather disturbing mental image.
I feel for you, I really do.
I can view the "real" thing(s) every day...imagine that
You'll feel ill for the rest of the day...believe me on this one

You know that's not strictly true... if I jump up and down I can hit chin/belly, chin/ belly so there is an UPWARD after all... shame about the downward.

funny smiley Pictures, Images and Photos

I took WT to the pubic swimming pool a few years back.
She was only 2 or 3 so we went into the dressing room together to get changed.
I got her ready then started to remove my underthingys

WT - Mommy?
Me - Yes darlin?
WT - Mommy why are your boobies long?

We remained in the cubicle until the giggles and snorts died down from the surrounding, filled to capacity, cubes.
Feckin "popular" public swimming pools!
Thank the good lord for under wired Bikini Tops.

Oh yes indeedy.
You can lift yer boobies with a bra but ye cannae change your accent!
I whispered to WT for the duration of our swim.

WT - Mommy why are you whispering?
Me - Shhhhhhhhhhhhh