Saturday, August 30, 2008

A Horse With No Name

Whew, this is the first of my sitting down since 6:30 a.m.
Work went well this morning with the exception of some idiot in the arena unable to control a horse with a kid on board. More luck than judgement prevented a train wreck. Honestly the things I have to contend with!
My girls were stars of course hehehe
Didn't bat an eyelid as the three ring circus was exploding around them. I am very, very proud.
Which leads rather nicely into, "Why do so called horse people refuse to get on the natural train?" It's really frustrating to watch a horse/horses not just talking but screaming and the owner either ignoring their clear communication or worse getting firmer with them. Breaks my bluddy heart.
I don't usually talk about my methods but there were numerous situations today where a little bit understanding of horse psychology would have made a happier time for both horse and rider. Don't get me wrong, I am European and was brought up with, use the bigger bit, tie downs, bigger spurs etc to "get the job done" so I fully understand the logic behind the actions. I have however invested the last 3 years 24/7 living and breathing natural horsemanship and find the "brute force and ignorance" methods more and more abhorant as well as down right dangerous at times.
These wonderful animals, in many instances, don't need to be furthar than their owner to be abused on a daily basis. It's all fine and well to be a caretaker and look after their physical needs but ignoring the mental and emotional needs is, in my opinion, abuse of a different kind but nonetheless abuse.

Analogy: you could feed a child 3 times a day, give great medical and dental care, warm safe environment to grow up in BUT if everytime the child tried to communicate with you you either ignored it or pushed it aside you would have one messed up kid. Everyone knows and accepts this but many refuse to see the parallel.
What can I do? Continue to lead by example and pray that I can influence even one.
There, tirade over.
Giong to my veggie guys tonight for a BBQ, so the weekend begins...woooohooooo

Friday, August 29, 2008

Is this the dawining of the age of Aquarius?

The Child Iseults new hair-do is taking up 20 minutes of my morning! 7:15 to 7:35 finds me competing in "Shear Genius" from the safety of the girls bathroom. She needs straightened, daily.
I hate my hair, it's been the bane of my life.
I have BIG hair.
It has the ability to reduce even the best hairdressers to tears. It lives a life of it's own.

Feral hair.

It is wild and unruly and will not be tamed. It has parties and never invites me.
Even in school photographs there it is "getting down with it's bad self" while I cringe underneath it's determined, demented antics.
These days I have nothing to do with it.
I cut it off last year and send a wad of it to Locks of Love. They were supposed to write back to say they had received it. Never heard a thing.
My guess is it escaped the zip-lock and is now blowing free.
It felt good to be rid of the majority of it but as nature would have it, more has taken it's place.
It's decided to change colour to try and confuse me but I'm no-body's fool and the new Grey beast is, if anything, even more out of control than it's brown counterpart ever was!
Thankfully none of my children have inherited it, they all have the sex bombs erstwhile sleek locks.
Actually I wonder if I was a 60's medical trial.
Give your baby thick curls, one pill ensures lifetime results!
Side effects may include:- loss of control, excessive growth, unnatural height, unnatural width, lack of discipline, tormenting professional hairdressers, wide eyed stares from the public, the need to use landscape settings when taking portraits and
some psychotherapy may be required.
I am living testament that the side effects HAPPENED, indeed are happening, even as I
Hair, who needs it? The sex bomb manages quite nicely with not one blade on his cute wee pate.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Happy Birthday "Mr Sex Bomb" la la la la to you

888 is the "number of the sex bomb". Yep the love of my life is almost the same age as me. For a few months at least. Happy birthday to him !

That's NOT me up there by the way! LOL

He worked from home today which threw me and Scoot out of whack.
I cleaned my car this morning ( it was like a darn hay barn ) 2 hours later all clean and smelling fresh.
Basked in 100deg+ "glowing" like a pig but managed to top up the tan beautifully.
I know, I know, sun damage and all that but in my humble opinion better to be tanned and wrinkled than pasty and wrinkled.
Ball cap, shades, a wee bit lipstick and who the hell cares anyway? I live incognito. In fact I met a gal from my Barn at the gas station yesterday who opened the conversation with "Wow this is the first time I've seen you not wearing jeans and boots" bit disconcerted that she recognised me at all!
I've been watching Hilary and Mr Obama on TV and am pleased to report that I have not the slightest clue how anything "political" works in this country, am not eligible to vote and think "slick willy" is hot ( go Monica )
I vote for ignorance is bliss.
Having lived through the "Thatcher" years back home I was very concerned since Thatcher made almost all women in the U.K ashamed of their gender.
I am being interrupted here.
The sex bomb has just informed me that he thinks he is Bernie Taupin to my Elton John or Tim Rice to my Andrew Lloyd Webber or Jim Steinman to my Meatloaf...WTF ??

You would be excused for mistaking this one for me though!!!

He's giggling away behind me here and I am distraught!
Does he think these meanderings of mine are dependent on his input? Obviously so! What the heck, it's his Birthday, give him his moment of glory. LOL.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Shoo Fly

I think I need to take anger management classes.
OH MY GOD there are two flies making out on my screen!! Is there no rest from this madness which is my life?

Swatted the f$%#ers, hope they enjoyed their one moment of passion, pffft.
Flies in this State ( no clue if they are any different anywhere else in this country) have absolutely NO respect for humans. Unlike the common Musca Domestica in the UK, here, the fly reigns supreme.
Now the Scottish fly knows it's place, as far away from human habitation as possible! Should the odd one venture into unchartered territory, one wave of the hand and it's gone, for good, off wailing and whining "sorry 'bout that" it should be.
Here though, oh no, no way those puppies are going to leave you alone for one second. They land on you, you swat, the "fly" wee f!@*ers take off at mach1, flipping you the bird as they embark on their next attack mission.
I'm thinking that if they could be armed with wee missiles they could be the next "weapons of mass destruction" Kamikaze Flies. I'd have been taken out at least 20 times in the last 3 minutes.
This whole post has nothing whatsoever to do with my original thought but has proven cathartic and my breathing has slowed to a less "hyperventilated" level so I'll smile and leave you to ponder.

I've got the music in me

Picked up my Guitar this morning, first time in ages. These bluddy false nails make playing impossible but what the heck it's only me and Scoot, oh and the poor dog of course. Found a great site for guitar chords Tons of country as well as all other genres. Rehearsing for the weekend as we have lots of social stuff happening, can't wait, it'll be fun!
Just to be clear, I play guitar horribly BUT I enjoy it so there!
Yeah come to think of it the guitar was a Christmas pressie from sex bomb. He decided when the twins were four months old that I needed "a hobby!" and you all think I'm the one whose nuts!! Suffice to say I mastered half a dozen chords which have enabled me to play everything...badly. The sex bomb of course is highly proficient on Guitar ( electric and acoustic) Mandolin, Harmonica, Bodhran and keyboards so we manage to bash out some music. I sing and he can't na na na na na.
Following the whole sandwich admission yesterday, my girlfriend ( the one who tried and failed to help me master the art of sandwiches) came over and we got talking about my shopping issues. She starts on about somewhere called "Victoria's Secret".

I have heard of it but never ventured in. She was appalled! It appears that no woman with one iota of self respect, shops anywhere else. Who knew?
What the heck is wrong with Ross Dress for Bluddyless? The fact that I think the underware they sell is only there because it's been mislabeled and therefore never fits is merely the price you pay for paying a lower price.
I quite haughtily informed her that 'I do go to Target for "special" occasions"
This was met with a much head shaking and "Oh sweetie" s.
I am therefore to be taken , to a VS store, location and time to be determined, to be measured and fitted for a bra. Now this could go either way. I might be pleasantly surprised to find I am more voluptuous than I thought OR that I am in dire need of augmentation, we shall see. She is a brave, brave woman to embark on this venture with moi. I will keep you informed of when this outing is to take place and the tone of the blog thereafter shall be a clear indication of the outcome methinks!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008


The STAR and CAPA (California Alternate Performance Assessment, Scoot takes this one) test results are in and I am the proud mom of three "advanced" kids! Yep all three of them in both in English and Math. Go Offspring Go Offspring!
It makes you wish you'd had more of the little darlings actually...NOT.
Three wee smarty pants plus one rather rotund smart ass are more than sufficient in this family.
I've been contemplating getting a real job. The kind you go to for hours every week and actually get paid for. Quite a novel concept for me since we came to these "US and A", oh, don't you just love Sacha Cohen?
Hmmmmmm Borat. I suspect he and I would make quite the couple here! After 9+ years in this country I am still incapable of buying a sandwich! One of my dearest friends took me on a training excursion a few years ago to a sandwich was NOT a success. All credit to her for infinite patience and total commitment to the "field trip" I was a complete mess, still am. You have to understand that in the U.K ( and I am sure Kazakhstan is the same)when you ask for a, lets say , ham sandwich, you get one slice of ham slapped between two slices of white bread, PERIOD, that's it, no more no less. Here! even the bread is only for people with nothing better to do than study "bread types" wheat,honey wheat,french,italian,rye,etc etc at the same time being bombarded with questions about size WTF??? Then they go on to fillings, I never get there, I'm far too stressed deciding on the bread.
Disgusted with the difficulty and stress levels involved I NEVER go to sandwich shops. I could recite poetry whilst making Borat and I a "normal" ham sandwich!

The sex bomb of course was Subway Savvy the first week here and The Child Iseult can order like a native Californian

Monday, August 25, 2008

Painted nails

Monday already.
Saturday went great with lessons,the horses were on best behavior and I spent a while working with the old paint...he must be one of the few horses in this world who spooks when he farts! Poor Baby. An unexpected, unpleasant "guest"? showed up which tilted me off balance for about 2 milliseconds. You can take a horse to water and all that... lost cause.
Played with my girl then rode her for a while,lovely jubbly.
Home,shower and off to nail salon leaving the sex bomb with Ms Child preparing dinner for our monthly haute cuisine with friends.
Pedicure was wonderful followed by the WORST hand job I've ever had! Got the bluddy 80 year old apprentice who not only had hyperopia but appeared to have quite a severe case of Parkinsons going on to boot! I was a nervous wreck. She had a drill in her hand for christ sake ( all be it a small one) and those drill bits can get hot.It was horrible.
My usual gal rescued me after around 50 mins of my trying to get her attention by making ridiculous faces didn't want to resort to screaming "help"
Dinner was wonderful, took him around 26 hours, getting used to the time lines involved now and snacking on Gimlets while he cooks.
We had French Onion Soup (Soupe a L'Oignon), Boeuf Bourguignon and Pear Tatin with Creme Anglaise for dessert. He's really good you know!
Good fun with good people, good food and good French wine. The joy of splendid living.
Sunday at work was fun, I love all of my students but my Sunday people are too much fun!
The old paint guy gave his first riding lesson!!!Wooohooo. I believe he was used many years ago by a previous abusive owner ( hence all of his issues, Poor Baby) but it's the first time I've put a student on him ( a couple have tried to get on him and darned near ended up in a wheel chair) and he's worked a lesson. So the "fat boy" has begun to earn his keep...not before time.

Last night was all systems go with both of the girls going back to school today. The Child Iseult in crisis because her hair was having a wee party, so it begins.
WT is very organised and methodical, much like her dad. On the down side though she appears to be the opposite which makes the sex bomb crazy. Example:- a few months ago he's chanting his daily mantra way too loud "have you seen her room?" I go up and she has a dozen water bottle caps lined up on the floor filled with water ( which of course the big galloot had stepped on managing to spilled a few). What he didn't notice were a dozen My Little Ponies OBVIOUSLY grazing in a shoe box next to "their water troughs" how can you get annoyed with that? She flits from project to project but her chaos is always well organised.
So it's me and Scoot for the next couple of weeks, great for us but it means I can't go to the Ranch, Scoot is just too much of a liability with only a 1:1 and 1,000lb animals. Not to worry the horses will be fine, they are well cared for there and I'll get my "equine fix" at the weekends.

Thursday, August 21, 2008


And so a monster is created!

The Child Iseult has introduced me to photobucket! and here was I, all this time thinking I was challenged. No more! gonna be like a bluddy art gallery in here soon...this is FUN.

Dedicated follower of fashion

So say the Kinks. Like they knew you could loose extremities in the attempt!
Be warned Skinny jeans can cause loss of feeling from the knee down if attempting any position but upright.
I speak with absolute certainty on this!
The Child Iseult has a few pairs, one of which she decided were too baggy at the knees?
WTF who has skinny knees? The patella goes out not in for gods sake.
In fact according to Wikipedia : The patella or kneecap is a thick, triangular bone which articulates with the femur and covers and protects the knee joint. It is the largest sesamoid bone in the human body.
Her addlepated teenage bird brain will not be convinced that she does not have inverted knees and the jeans are just 1mm baggier (that's a laugh) than her other pairs.
I paid $$$ for these "pants of torture" they won't show up in the Thrift until next year so I had no choice and cannot see them unworn without having a panic attack ( I could have had a Goodwill spending spree for half the cost).
What's a mother to do? Wear them of course!
Having lost 5lbs, sweat and energy squeezing into the things ( she's a size 0) off I go, gasping for air, purple in the face and hoping no-one wants me to have a conversation due to lack of Oxygen, my constricted diaphragm already screaming "free free set me free"
The car journey was painful but not unbearable. I arrive at the Ranch to be met with compliments! Really! "Wow those jeans are cute" "love the pants" etc to which I could merely muster a nod and grimace. The compliments and the too tight jeans left me a bit light headed so I soldiered on " mind over matter" and all that.
All in all coping okay until I decided to ride with one of my students.
The bend in the knee finished me.
After 6 mins, numbness in baby toe, slightly worrying
After 10 mins no sensation in all five digits, not good.
After 15 mins lack off sensation up to calf, Huston we have a problem.
The dang things were so tight they were cutting off circulation at the knee.
No way I could dismount, I'd be like friggin "jello legs" in the dust. Feet out of stirrups and circling ankles at least that was the idea. Of course, due to lack of feeling I'm having to look down to make sure my brain is still relaying messages to my extremities. Half an hour later I'd regained enough sensation to safely get off.
Conclusion : Skinny Jeans should only be worn in circumstances which require a vertical body position at all times.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

The best laid schemes o' mice an' men gang aft agley

Sex bomb comes home last night only to find me all fired up about my newly painted blog.
He's reading it, first time whilst not three Glenmorangies to the wind, "oh good god" he exclaims,or words to that effect.
What the hell is wrong with pink and purple? Nothing, but there is an issue with my poll apparently.
"What kind of mother are you?"
"Not enough that the fish is dead and the child is in tears.You want to put the fish in a feckin zip lock bag, haul it's dead ass along with now hysterical child to Wally World. Spend half an hour looking for an attendant (as usual) only to slap the zip lock on the counter, along with the receipt of course and ask for a friggin refund. Do you want thousands of kids in "dead fish" therapy?
Well when you look at it like that...
"How much does a fish cost anyway?" asks the man who has been watching WAY too many episodes of Nanny911 and is beginning to fancy himself as a parent.
"ehhhhmmm 25c"
"Oh well in that case I would definitely return it!"

Did the whole heel clicking, eyes closed, mantra thing yesterday and remained in my kitchen chair. What did you expect KANSAS?
Alex11 still lurking. WT now wants a Hamster. I do not do rodents. It's non-negotiable! Yeah try telling her that. I had a mouse once, given to me by a boyfriend for my sixteenth birthday. As one of my friends recently said "who would do such a thing?", I was too young for a bottle of wine but hell I'd have been happy with a teddy bear! I detested that mouse, still have no time for them. Mouse faces, mouse ears, mouse tails yeugh yeugh yeugh all wee and wriggly and man do they stink!
The only good thing about mice is by Robert Burns our National Bard :-

To A Mouse, On Turning Her Up In Her Nest With The Plough

Type: Poem

Wee, sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie,
O, what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
Wi' bickering brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an' chase thee,
Wi' murd'ring pattle!

I'm truly sorry man's dominion,
Has broken nature's social union,
An' justifies that ill opinion,
Which makes thee startle
At me, thy poor, earth-born companion,
An' fellow-mortal!

I doubt na, whiles, but thou may thieve;
What then? poor beastie, thou maun live!
A daimen icker in a thrave
'S a sma' request;
I'll get a blessin wi' the lave,
An' never miss't!

Thy wee bit housie, too, in ruin!
It's silly wa's the win's are strewin!
An' naething, now, to big a new ane,
O' foggage green!
An' bleak December's winds ensuin,
Baith snell an' keen!

Thou saw the fields laid bare an' waste,
An' weary winter comin fast,
An' cozie here, beneath the blast,
Thou thought to dwell-
Till crash! the cruel coulter past
Out thro' thy cell.

That wee bit heap o' leaves an' stibble,
Has cost thee mony a weary nibble!
Now thou's turn'd out, for a' thy trouble,
But house or hald,
To thole the winter's sleety dribble,
An' cranreuch cauld!

But, Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain;
The best-laid schemes o' mice an 'men
Gang aft agley,
An'lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!

Still thou art blest, compar'd wi' me
The present only toucheth thee:
But, Och! I backward cast my e'e.
On prospects drear!
An' forward, tho' I canna see,
I guess an' fear!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Dolly has gone on vacation

Thought I'd give Dolly a wee rest and let Jason do the honors for a while.
Is that kid gorgeous or what? That was a rethorical question. Should be an oil painting if you ask me. Enjoy!

Times are a chainging

I've got a new look!
I think I hate it but I'll keep playing with it. See what you've done to me with all your talk of painting "girlfriend" !!


I know I admitted to being technically challenged, but I ask you, "can the Flu travel across cyber?"
I know one of my co-bloggers had it last week ( cos I read the blog. Hope you are feeling much better by the way :-)) and yesterday it starts playing funny buggers with me.
I mean to say I've heard of computer viruses but for feck sake do they include flu symptoms, the common cold, etc? Is the cold a virus? All I know is that as of yesterday I will be very wary of reading anything typed by anyone who is feeling under the weather.
Weekend was fun with the Sailor and Turnip Guy ( now to be known as Veggie Guy, he has extended his line to include aubergines and zucchini...the size of these puppies defies nature!)round for dinner and drinks. Sailor is going home in October for good, can't even think about that right now.
Veggie guy and I went riding on Sunday. Took the two boys for a ride along the road then back to the ranch and a wee spin up the hill. My old guy (horse) had a beautiful lope which only happens on a 0 - 45 degree slope. Put him on the flat and we have a walk, jog, trot,extended trot, EXPLOSION...ah well I didn't train him...know the man who did though. You'd think that a "Trainer" would be able to manage to teach a horse a simple jog - lope transition?
Obviously not. And people pay for this?????????? Amazing...LOL Thank goodness I did not.
I'll have him doing canter departs in a few days, no worries. The horse that is, not the "trainer". I've just never taken the time to work with him. It's now top of my "to do" list which at the moment could quite happily be transferred onto a roll of TP or two.
All three "sweet" kids off school this week, LUCKY ME.
WT disgusted with Alex11. He is a lurker. She has just informed me that he is not a patch on Alex1 (who was a bit Fish ADD and swam around like a lunatic for the whole week of his little life) I have told her he s one smart fish, conserving energy,if Alex11 croaks then I'm done with aquatic pets. She has come up with a "Fish Walking" invention. Wee wheels on his bowl with a string tied on to pull him around. She is drafting her invention right now. Be sure to keep your eyes open for the latest Fish product coming soon to a store near you! What a kid.
Scoot is running true to form and I am now proficient in every lyric to every song from The Wizard of Oz.
Girlfriend came over yesterday having had a crisis whilst painting her house ( the spray machine thing jammed up) which she informs me is now yellow. Only had to take one look at her yellow speckled shirt,face,hair,neck to confirm that one!
I'm going to click my heels together three times and see where I end up, I'll keep you informed.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Wally Fish and Oz

The Wonderful World of Wally, a store to be reckoned with. The kids wanted to go somewhere today, the zoo was mentioned. In the car and off to Walmart where they got to look at the fishes for half an hour. Cheap day out! ended up buying another friggin fish though, named Alex11, Alex1 only lasted five days bless his wee fishy soul. Well what do expect, it is Wally World for Christ's sake. Do fish have souls? Fish can BE Soles' but do they possess one? There's one for all you Theologists out there.
Scoots last day of summer school today so I'll be off to see the wizard as I follow the yellow brick road to somewhere over the rainbow for the next 3 weeks. Ah if I only had a brain then I could come out and be more optimistic as it stands though the kids will probably be harking ding dong the witch is dead by the end of this too bluddy long summer.It's a killer.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

People, people who need people, are the luckiest people...

When i started this blogging lark I had no idea that I'd be travelin through at 500mph! The thing is, when you try to write here every day and then log on, only to realise 9 friggin days have been and gone in a whilrlwind of activity and you, the Whirling Dervish, in the midst of the cyclone are still feeling the centrifugal force it's a wee bit disconcerting!
The growing pains of popularity methinks. Yes dear readers we have had an incredible influx of friends hanging out over the last week. Happy times and some sad, infuriating times and some supportive oh hell I could go on all day. It's been a roller coaster. One can only pray that any advice asked for was the best I could give and any unwelcome advice given I can blow off, pah there it goes.
Waaah, I have teenagers, it's official!
Scoot and The Child Iseult had a birthday on Monday. All scoot wanted was The Wizard of Oz DVD having watched the movie a few weeks ago with HG and Songster. The Child Iseult was granted a new fangled cell phone and they got a Wii.
When will all this new technology end? I'm friggin sinking here! challenged is an understatement. I have no incentive to "keep up with the times" but find myself becoming "Edina" literally!( (If you haven't watched AB FAB then do)
"Sweetie, sweetie, help mommy sweetie" and that's just asking Scoot to turn on the bluddy TV!
Of course the girls and the sex bomb think it's hilarious...ah well maybe I'll award myself the monthly award for July.
In fact I think I damn well deserve it! So there you go I am the July recipient.
Got to report the Shyster was going for the Triple Crown and may yet achieve that status, three in a row, three in a row...I'm thinking though that given the current Olympic Fever, The Shyster could well be a gold medalist for the USA. Lets face it, years of training and daily dedication to perfecting the "Art", a wake of less competent competitors still tryng to figure out where they went wrong and the ambition folks yep the ambition to be the best Shyster in the world. LOL
Anyway back to direct line thoughts, this lateral stuff makes me a tad nutty, or should I say nuttier. Aha, speaking of nuts! Yet another omission by "so called friends"...smiling here.
Bearing in mind I AM a foreigner, when we moved in here a few years ago, the previous owners had left quite a few big planters in the front and back yards. Spring came and off I trotted to Wally World to buy some plants. Got my plants and commenced digging away only to find tons of peanuts in their husks in every pot. Hmmm never seen anything like this before. Now me being me (not wanting to look like a total idiot by asking anyone) came up with the notion that it had something to do with drainage. Yes that must be it, these Americans use nuts as I would use rocks. I have been putting nuts in my potting soil for years! I sh#$#t you not...squirrels looking down on me "There is a Squirrel God, she's here,she's here"
No-one told me, serves me right for not asking and so another lesson learned.

Want to wind up this mornings ranting and raving on a serious note.
I have a newish, lovely girlfriend who went through hell this past weekend as did her significant other. We love you both, we are right here for you, you are in our thoughts and prayers. There is a reason for everything and I have found, it can take years to understand why bad things happen to good people. Hang in there kids, love and support each other.
I found strength in an unlikely source, unlikely given that I am not of that ilk. It has helped me on many many occasions so I pass it on to
Mother Teresa " I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that HE didn't trust me so much"

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Passenger Safety

Speaking of road-kill, thinking about it at least, I was curious as to how birds manage to "Get a little blood on the tyres"?
Wee critters I understand, what with the eyes caught in the headlights thingy but birds? They have wings for christ sakes,fly fly fly little birdie. Some obviously can't or won't ascend into the blue yonder.
Daft or fat if you ask me.
Not being an avian expert I cannot attest to this but it would explain the following:- Bird brained and plump as a chicken. Of course chickens can't fly so you would expect a few to be hit by incoming...
Last year in Colorado we are driving along (our designated animal loving driver at the helm)when suddenly and I mean "emergency stop" suddenly, we find ourselves whip lashed with breastbones thumped into the seat belts ( cheap rental so crappy airbags remained intact).
"WTF WAS THAT?" scream the passengers (me loudest since I was riding up front and had seen nothing to warrant such aggressive STOPPING!).
"Oh sorry" says she as she flips a U-Turn 007 would have been proud of.
"There's something been hit on the road, I just want to check it out"
Back to look, only to find what could potentially have been a very small oil stain
"Oh" says she, "It's dead" on the verge of tears.
"Dead? Dead? of course it's friggin DEAD! It's embedded,probably has been there for a year!" also on the verge of tears.
Wee repentant voice "Sorry guys"
"It's ok" as we nursed our necks and chests.
And the moral is?
Road Kill can be VERY dangerous to the health of passengers, when spotted on the other side of the road, by an animal loving driver.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Gimlets get you through

"What will I do when you are far away?"...
HG commenced moving out tonight.The sex bomb and I feeling quite maudlin about loosing our grown up kid, it was a pleasure having him here. Won't miss the 2x dog shit in the yard but hey what's a wee bit shit amongst friends? lol
He has definitely prepared us for The Child Iseult commencing her teens and quite surprisingly the sex bomb was the worrier! I on the other hand managed to be very calm and pragmatic when he was still out after 10 p.m.!
Onwards and upwards we all go Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Love and our best wishes go with him, he's one of the good guys. They are harder to find every day, but he and the Wandering Cowboy fit the bill for me and my wee sex bomb and my Turnip Guy and the Sailor, oh heck, there's loads of them out there!
I've kinda given up on the vacation diary, it all seems another lifetime ago already and every time I talk to my mum I feel sad so I'll maybe pick it up later, we'll see.
Mastering the Art of French cooking is going well, who knew chicken and carrots could take 5 hours to cook? It's better than a diet! So feckin hungry that by the time the food gets to me I'm, over it, comatose or had too many Gimlets to give a damn!
Awww bless his heart he really is quite dedicated in a manic, gimleted ( new invented word) kind of way.
Nighty night my lovies
P.S. the sex bomb has just informed me that in his opinion "My Blog" for him, equates to me reading Spike Milligan's "Hitler, My part in his downfall"
In other words you MUST be Gimlited to find it funny. Sober it just ain't happening. He's a lovely man...Pftttttttt

Sunday, August 3, 2008


Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn died today August 3rd 2008.
Also please take a moment to think about the 140 lives lost today on India.