Friday, November 21, 2008

It's Only A Paper Moon - Adam Ant

It would be fair to assume, that in these days of Technological Wonders
eg PC's, wee cell phones, teeth for your ears, mini IPods, tiny wee, well other shyte which I have yet to comprehend, that paper would be a thing of the past.

Once again I am bitten in the bahookey.
That old adage "assume" makes an ASS out of U and ME.
Will I never learn...

I am surrounded by paper. Paper is in my top ten "Things that piss me off"
The biggest culprit?

Schools apparently are even more in the "dark ages" than I am, and that ain't easy.
Every week, each child ( remember I have three of the wee angels/horrors) brings home enough paperwork to justify a filing cabinet.

Example : WT hands me last night
1 sheet (yellow) PTA win a BBQ
2 sheets (white) PTA news
1 sheet (pink) PTA membership drawing extended!!! (yep 3, !!! WTF?)
4 sheets ( 1 red 3 white) Spelling contract
1 sheet (pink) GATE meeting

I mention the colours just so you all know I'm looking at them right now.

If I can still count, I make that 9 sheets of paper.
9 sheets of paper generated for 1 child x3 = Total 27 sheets of paper a day.
27x5 days a week = 135

135 pieces of paper which I have to:-
1.Dispose of...lot of shyte
2.Keep track of...mark in my calender, then dispose of.

I PAY to have MY trash collected.
By the time I've disposed of all the School paper there's no room left in the recycle trash can for my empty wine bottles!

It's a bluddy disgrace.

If I can use e-mail (which I am happy to divulge I have mastered) so can they!

Hit for 3 empty wine bottles.
If the schools think for one minute, that by sending home copious amounts of unwanted paper, with which to fill my trash can, that they are encouraging abstinence, then they are wrong!
Because I am smarter than them.

I have a filing cabinet full of school papers ( my own small rain forest) and my recycle can is full to the brim of empty wine bottles so na na na na na.

In conclusion
Save Paper Pictures, Images and Photos


AbbotOfUnreason said...

"Teeth for your ears." What?

Send the papers back with the kids to throw away in school trashcans. Actually, start sending all your trash back that way. I'm sure nobody will be surprised to find wine bottles in the English teachers trash can.

(Yeah, yeah, "bin", whatever).

LiLu said...

Okay, I have to know...

what the hell is a bahookey??

Narm said...

Save all of your paper for a year and then sneak into the school and leave it in the principals office. He'll probably just blame some freshman.

fiona said...

Abbot - Tooth, blue/pink whatever.
I'd have to send the kind undercover...hmmmm

Lilu - bahookey = gorgeous, pert wee bottom :0)

Narm - I'd need to hire a friggin truck but it's a thought!

lacochran said...

All those colorful sheets would make a lovely bonfire.


lacochran said...

Oh, and,

Bahookey! Bahookey! Bahookey!

Well, I feel better.

Mike said...

n. (Scottish) arse, bottom, bum, booty. Can be used safely in front of your maiden aunt.
Oooh ma bahookey is gowpin'.

I had to look bahookey up anyway. Above is from the urban dictionary. Now everyone will wonder what gowpin' is. It's all here.

fiona said...

lacochran - we could put the teachers on the top!
Isn't bahookey a great word!

Mike - I love you and your dictionary :-)
saving me endless translations, TY.

weirdtales said...

Grab another bottle of wine & all yer colored papers & use them to start a nice "hellafire" in yer backyard..that's what I do with all my pre-approved credit card crap...and a "gowpin" (a throbbing pain) bahookey would be similar to a pain in the ass.

weirdtales said...

ought ta skelp yer bahookie til it's gowpin!