Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Answer The Phone - Sugar Ray

I know it's May but I'm catching up in here sooooo

I got a Kindle for Christmas!
Santa also thought he'd have a good feckin laugh at my expense. The wa*%ker placed a Blueberry? Raspberry? you know, Mr Bells great invention thingymabob under the tree, just for me. Is Santa a complete feckin Eejit or as I suspect, just taking the proverbial ?
Worst Christmas of my life. I was totally overwhelmed by Technology.
The Child Iseult also got one of the Demon, Spawn, Hells-"Bells" machine.
She and SB were yabbering away in Technotalk and I was just staring at the Area51 confiscated scary fecker like a deer in the headlights.
Then they started on me.
Wow Mommy look at this App!
Wow Fi look you can pick up your Emails,connect to FB, have GPS etc,etc.
The pair o' them were on a roll.
ME (in a wee pathetic close to tears voice) Ehmm I've got a question?
THEM (all four eyes on me, eyebrows raised)
Me - How do I call people? and if I get a call how do I pick up?
AND THE CROWD WENT WILD!! Thought it was the funniest thing EVER!
Now just in-case you have never been dragged through Elderberry Hell it comes complete with a wee soft cleaning cloth. It was this wee innocuous item that saved my sanity.
I can clean! I'm a proficient cleaner!If there was an Olympic Cleaning Event I'd bring home GOLD for Scotland.
I do clean equally well here in the US but as I'm not yet a citizen, would not be allowed on Team USA... their loss!
I started cleaning the wee screen, with the wee cloth.
SB - What are ye doin?
Me - cleaning?
SB - Why?
Me - Because the wee feckin CLOTH is the only thing I know how to feckin USE!!!

and a HOHOHO Merry Christmas was had by few.
I'll get the Fat Guy back next year...

Saving the "unopened for a week" Kindle for another post!

P.S. Who in their right mind decides to call a phone a feckin BLACKBERRY anyway????


Mike said...

'Who in their right mind...'

Freakin' little kids that want to confuse ols people.

lacochran's evil twin said...

Wait, you want to use your phone to *phone* someone? ;)

Bilbo said...

I remember when I first got a cell phone with a built-in camera. Taking pictures was simple, because there was a little camera-shaped button on the keypad...but I had no idea how to view the pictures I'd taken. It was my granddaughter Marcy - who was about 6 at the time - who took pity on grandpa and showed him how to find the pictures. High-tech is NOT my friend.

vw: kenista - a Barbie who works at a coffee shop.