Holiday by Madonna

I'm taking my old broken self off to Lake Tahoe for Spring Break.
The other "four" and "twa dugs" are coming with me!
I'm sure I'll have lots of reading to do when I get back ;-)
See y'all next Saturday!
BE GOOD!
Hugs
Fxxx

Sunday Morning by Howie Day

I'm taking a break from our European adventures to wish everyone Happy Easter.



If you don't "do" Easter then Happy Sunday.



If you don't "do" Sundays then just be Happy You Woke Up this morning!



I know I am...

Goody Two Shoes by Adam Ant

I'm going to rush through Holland and the "Hellish Hollish" as I fondly remember it's inhabitants.
Amsterdam is a fun City. Great street entertainment, wonderful Indonesian food and very picturesque.



We did take a stroll through the "Red Light" district, well SB strolled I kinda slunk.
I had no idea what you would even consider doing with 90% of the items on display in the shop windows!
Still don't, nor do I care to find out, thank you very much!
Ignorance is bliss.
Moving on to Germany.
Freiburg, to meet our wonderful friends Peter and Ursula. ( We met them when they were backpacking around Scotland a few years earlier).
We were met at the railway station and Pete promptly brought out a cooler filled with beer from the trunk of the car! We sat on the sidewalk guzzling for a while the headed out to Urs's (is that right Urss' Bilbo assistance required plz!) apartment where we would be staying for a couple of days.
Pete is a "list" kinda guy.
Pete - Now we make walk
Pete - Now we eat
Pete - Now we drink
Pete - Now we make trip to the lake for swim!
Swimming sounded wonderful, it was in the 90's and a dip in the Lake sounded just delicious.
*Quick aside - Pete and Urs are both TALL! SB comes in at around 5ft6" and I'm 5ft4". When we all "make walk" SB and my wee leggies are moving FAST to keep up with our striding German friends!
Ok, get the visual?
Soooo, we arrive at the Lake and they take off with me almost running to keep up and SB jogging behind. I'm focused, the Lake is busy and I don't want to loose sight of our guides!
SB - Fiona!
SB - Fiona! (rising panic noted)
SB - FIONA!!
Me- WTF?
SB - look!
Me - What?
SB - FECKIN LOOK!
I turn to him and he's developed an unattractive, nervous twitch, affecting his whole head!
Me - Are you ok?
SB - no
He tries to point but the affliction has now progressed to his arms and hands which are shaking uncontrollably.
I glance around and dissolve into fits.
It's a nudist Lake!
I gather him up and we continue, SB staring at the path.
Pete and Urs have found a nice spot and are laying out towels.
We all sit down admiring the Lake, SB staring at his feet.
Pete and Urs start to strip off...totally
SB- (whispers frantically) What are we gonnae do?
Me - Oh I'm fine, I put my bikini on under my dress! (smiling)
SB - WHAT? Feck,feck,feck,feck
Me- What the hell is wrong with you?
SB- I put my trunks in the wee backpack, how am I gonnae get them on?
Me - Oh just Do It for feck sake, everybody's bluddy naked anyway, no-ones gonnae be lookin at yer "Thon"
SB - I dinnae have a "Thon" It's gone...
Me - Dinnae be an eejit, what do ye mean gone?
SB - GONE, DISAPPEARED, RETREATED, SHRIVELED!
Me - Oh!
Meanwhile on the German front, Pete has whipped out his - CAMERA - and is bobbing around stark naked shouting " Now we make photo, yes? "
Poor wee SB...literally
We three ran down to the Lake and immersed ourselves in the beautiful lukewarm water, allowing SB a modicum of privacy to wiggle and wriggle out of his shorts and into his trunks.
We had a wonderful swim and watched the sun begin to set as we bobbed around.
Pete - Now we make walk and eat
SB - *groans*
Me - What?
SB - How the FECK do I get out and back into my clothes?

Tomorrow Expensive Austria and High jinks in Hungary

Leaving by Jesse McCartney

I've been reminiscing.
So sit back, relax and let me take you on an "InterRail" journey with SB and moi circa 1993.
We had the tickets, we had the rucksacks, we even had a plan!
SB and a couple of his buddys had done it 5 years earlier and he loved it, so...
We had been saving "vacation" time from work for 2 years ( you could do that kinda thing back then)
This was to be our great adventure before starting a family!
Our last gasp attempt to be young and carefree.
I was adamant that even although we were taking a tent (Sherpa SB in charge of that puppy) we would be checking into Hotels on route.
My idea of roughing it was staying at the Holiday Inn as opposed to The Savoy.

Day 1 - Leven our home town, to Dover, where we would get the ferry over to Bruges (Belgium)
SB (Backpack on, including tent) Are you ready then?
Me -
SB - Come on or we're gonnae miss the bus ( bus from Leven to Edinburgh)
Me - I cannae lift the feckin thing!
SB - What? Your joking right?
Me - no
SB - WTF did you pack?
Me - A lot?
SB - Well your just gonnae have tae manage!

He picks up my backpack ( with some difficulty) and slaps the fecker on my back. I of course assume the Igor stance and stagger the 20minute walk to the bus depot, grabbing railings, trees and the occasional unsuspecting random person in an attempt to keep my balance.

We loaded onto the bus with me in tears insisting that there was no way in hell I could lug "that fecker" around Europe for 6 weeks. My anguished cries received no sympathy.
A trolly thingy at Edinburgh train station calmed me down somewhat, as did a few drinks in the Bar as we waited for our first train.
I felt much more positive as we alighted in York for lunch, having consumed the entire contents of British Rails "beverage" trolley.
I was now swaying and staggering with a purpose!
The port of Dover provided us with more refreshments as we waited ( I LIKE waiting )
All Aboard...we were at sea...literally
We dumped our gear in a cabin which I'm sure was actually a locker with two wee mattresses squeezed in and went in search of the bar.
Hey! I was thirsty. I'd been hauling "the fecker" all over Scotland and England!
Some hours later,
We couldn't find our Cabin...
Up and down decks, back and forth, swaying ( well we're on a bluddy ship after all )
No luck.
Back to the bar, amazingly we found THAT no problem.
We did a good job. We managed to drink our way across the Channel. Quite an accomplishment
Dawn was breaking as we docked in Bruges.
The Bartender had somehow? taken our Cabin key and managed to have our backpacks brought to us...nice guy
We haul ourselves down the gangplank and collapse.
When we come too, it is to discover that every single passenger has disappeared, gone, we are alone.
No cars, no buses, nothing!
Me - What are we gonnae do?
SB - *shrugs *
Me - Oh THAT'S ok then...
SB - Look there's a bus coming
Me - Aye but where is it going?
SB - Disnae matter we're getting on it
Me - WHAT?
SB - Welcome to InterRailing darlin!

Tomorrow, From Belgium to the debauchery that IS Amsterdam!

I Fall To Pieces by Patsy Cline

I'm broken...again.
Don't even ask, suffice to say I'm a big GOWK
I am now "not so proudly" sporting the following;

1. Bruise on left eyebrow resulting in a bluddy KEEKER
No 3 people, my name is NOT Wullie and I do not have a hairy "thingy"



2. Sprained right wrist
3. Gouge out of right index finger
4. Abrasion to left shoulder
5. Sore neck
6. Sore bum

I feel as though I've gone five rounds with Lennox Lewis and guess who won?
Oh, the shame.
I will NEVER again place a three legged stool on chippie stones, in an attempt to haul my ass up,
to re-arrange the feckin Jasmine plant ( which by the way is looking lovely)

Apeman by The Kinks

Since yesterdays post had the most comments EVER, I'll stick to what seems to work, for today anyway!
As a very, very, dear friend of mine said - just the other day actually - "she just ain't right"
This opinion stretches further than the eye can see, in the Horse World or at least my corner of it.
I am actually a totally self opinionated "person" when it comes to our equine friends ( or in NARMS case enemies)
I never anthromorphize ( there's one for ya BILBO!) ever.
It's going to get you into more trouble with your horse than anything else you do.
I hear it all the time ;
My horse loves me
My horse hates me
My horse only likes men
My horse only likes women
My horse is happy
My horse is sad

What a lot of TWADDLE!
These Prey animals have no such thoughts! They can't. It's stupid to think they do.
Here's the reality.

My horse respects my leadership.
My horse has no respect for my leadership.
My horse has been abused by a man ( glances at Narm) at some point in it's life and has a rightful fear of tall humans, humans with deep voices, etc
My horse has been abused by a woman etc etc you get it...
My horse feels good about it's self mentally, emotionally and physically.
My horse feels lonely ( they are herd animals remember), bored and out of shape.

I teach people.
I teach horse psychology to humans.
Not a day goes by when I'm doing my thing, that some "experienced" equestrian looks and listens to my lesson and walks away with that "she just ain't right" expression!
Sure, I could Cowboy up, wear spurs, use a bigger bit, kick harder, pull harder on the horses face BUT brute force and ignorance are things of the past.
It's all changing, slowly but for the better.
For the horse to want to please rather than be forced to perform.
Maintaining the dignity of the animal is paramount in my lessons.
I do groups lessons at a reduced rate!
Anyone?

King Fear by The Babylon Whores

Yesterday found me living up to every ones expectations...I WAS "the fool"
Nothing new there, so let's move on.

Fear.
Working with horses and being a riding instructor I have to manage varying degrees of fear every day.
It's a dangerous thing, being around 1000+lb animals.
You have to be "on your game" all the time because horses are really smart and know, with 100% accuracy, when your not paying attention.
That's when they test you!
I've been doing this "horse" thing for a LONG time now and pretty much have my butterflies in formation.
This is not the case for many of my students.
I spent much of the weekend pondering how best to help them, it's my job.
I reached some conclusions.

1. I have to respect that the fear a student feels is VERY real, for them.
2. There is no point in my saying "Oh dinnae be an Eejit, it'll be fine"
That's MY reality not theirs.
3. We only learn "out of our comfort zone"
That said, if we go too far then we are in a frightened place and no longer learning.
4. As humans we would be daft NOT to experience fear.
It's our brain kicking into self preservation mode.
5. Fear causes Brain Freeze.
6. Overcoming fear leaves us with three scenarios:

i. Oh Shit moments become Oh WOW moments. eg someone who's been afraid to Lope
becomes confident and before you know it all they want to do is go FASTER!
ii. You become indifferent. eg Picking hoofs can be scary for some people and rightly so but as
confidence builds it becomes just a job. Not, Oh WOW, just, get it done.
iii. The fear remains but at a manageable level. As I said, butterflies in formation NOT
flapping around bouncing off the walls.

I have strategies.
I have a responsibility to my students to use these strategies!
As my mentor Mr P says "Take the time it takes, to take less time"
Move closer stay longer.
True story-
My BFF horse, the one I put 6 year olds on, the love of my life.
Four years ago that horse and I looked at each other, through pipe panels for 6 weeks.
Why?
I was terrified of her!
She was terrified of me! ( I was THAT predator)
It took a full year for us to get on track.
It was a journey, a wonderful journey and one which changed me as a person, a trainer and an Instructor, all for the better!
When it comes down to it, most of the time, our fear is of the unknown.
The Bard says it much better than I ever could :
An’ forward, tho’ I canna see,
I guess an’ fear!

(translation ;-) )

And forward, though I cannot see,
I guess and fear!