Friday, April 10, 2009

Goody Two Shoes by Adam Ant

I'm going to rush through Holland and the "Hellish Hollish" as I fondly remember it's inhabitants.
Amsterdam is a fun City. Great street entertainment, wonderful Indonesian food and very picturesque.

Amsterdam Pictures, Images and Photos

We did take a stroll through the "Red Light" district, well SB strolled I kinda slunk.
I had no idea what you would even consider doing with 90% of the items on display in the shop windows!
Still don't, nor do I care to find out, thank you very much!
Ignorance is bliss.
Moving on to Germany.
Freiburg, to meet our wonderful friends Peter and Ursula. ( We met them when they were backpacking around Scotland a few years earlier).
We were met at the railway station and Pete promptly brought out a cooler filled with beer from the trunk of the car! We sat on the sidewalk guzzling for a while the headed out to Urs's (is that right Urss' Bilbo assistance required plz!) apartment where we would be staying for a couple of days.
Pete is a "list" kinda guy.
Pete - Now we make walk
Pete - Now we eat
Pete - Now we drink
Pete - Now we make trip to the lake for swim!
Swimming sounded wonderful, it was in the 90's and a dip in the Lake sounded just delicious.
*Quick aside - Pete and Urs are both TALL! SB comes in at around 5ft6" and I'm 5ft4". When we all "make walk" SB and my wee leggies are moving FAST to keep up with our striding German friends!
Ok, get the visual?
Soooo, we arrive at the Lake and they take off with me almost running to keep up and SB jogging behind. I'm focused, the Lake is busy and I don't want to loose sight of our guides!
SB - Fiona!
SB - Fiona! (rising panic noted)
SB - FIONA!!
Me- WTF?
SB - look!
Me - What?
SB - FECKIN LOOK!
I turn to him and he's developed an unattractive, nervous twitch, affecting his whole head!
Me - Are you ok?
SB - no
He tries to point but the affliction has now progressed to his arms and hands which are shaking uncontrollably.
I glance around and dissolve into fits.
It's a nudist Lake!
I gather him up and we continue, SB staring at the path.
Pete and Urs have found a nice spot and are laying out towels.
We all sit down admiring the Lake, SB staring at his feet.
Pete and Urs start to strip off...totally
SB- (whispers frantically) What are we gonnae do?
Me - Oh I'm fine, I put my bikini on under my dress! (smiling)
SB - WHAT? Feck,feck,feck,feck
Me- What the hell is wrong with you?
SB- I put my trunks in the wee backpack, how am I gonnae get them on?
Me - Oh just Do It for feck sake, everybody's bluddy naked anyway, no-ones gonnae be lookin at yer "Thon"
SB - I dinnae have a "Thon" It's gone...
Me - Dinnae be an eejit, what do ye mean gone?
SB - GONE, DISAPPEARED, RETREATED, SHRIVELED!
Me - Oh!
Meanwhile on the German front, Pete has whipped out his - CAMERA - and is bobbing around stark naked shouting " Now we make photo, yes? "
Poor wee SB...literally
We three ran down to the Lake and immersed ourselves in the beautiful lukewarm water, allowing SB a modicum of privacy to wiggle and wriggle out of his shorts and into his trunks.
We had a wonderful swim and watched the sun begin to set as we bobbed around.
Pete - Now we make walk and eat
SB - *groans*
Me - What?
SB - How the FECK do I get out and back into my clothes?

Tomorrow Expensive Austria and High jinks in Hungary

12 comments:

Gilahi said...

Oh great. I read this entire post about traveling all over Europe and all I can think about is "Goody Two Shoes".

With a heartbreak open,
so much you can't hide.
Put on a little makeup, makeup.
Make sure they get your
good side, good side.

If the words unspoken
get stuck in your throat,
send a treasure token, token,
write it on a
pound note, pound note.

We don't follow fashion.
That'd be a joke.
You know we're gonna
set them, set them.
So everyone can
take note, take note.


Wv: tunessis - Writing the words to this tunessis a bad idea.

fiona said...

Gilahi - LOL ye've got tae luv "The Ant"

lacochran said...

But how can you, of all people, use a song who's chorus starts "Don't drink"?

Subtle innuendos follow.

fiona said...

LA - Those bluddy inuendos will get ye EVERY time ;0)

Bilbo said...

Ah, Germany! We used to go swimming at the Bodensee, where tops were optional for the ladies. My observation was that most people who go to nude beaches shouldn't. I learned not to gawk too much...Agnes would point out ladies she thought I'd think were attractive, then hit me when I looked. Everyone else got a tan; I just got black and blue. No fun.

John said...

funny story, Fiona

wv: buyties..I think that is a message that I need a couple of new ties.

fiona said...

Bilbo - LOL serves ya right!

John - You couldn't make this stuff up! and TY ;0)

Amanda said...

OMG! This post was tooooo funny. I don't think I want to go to any nude places.

fiona said...

Amanda - Nor do WE! That makes three of us in the "Stay feckin covered" Club! LOL

Mike said...

How did I miss this yesterday? I swear I check blogs three times a day and obviously didn't see this. Blogger is messin' with me.

By the way, we want pictures.

LiLu said...

I went to Amsterdam and DIDN'T see the Red Light District! I've never forgiven myself for that one...

fiona said...

Mike - You missed me cos I'm wee ;-)
I'm contemplating the "real"
pictures!

Lilu - Then you really did miss "things" LOL