Tuesday, May 5, 2009

That's Entertainment by Van Morrison

Picking up from where I ran out of time and got all stressed and sweaty.
It happens, deal with it. ( god knows I have to)
The crowd of crones at the Van Morrison gig continued...

This post is not meant to offend ANYONE so if you get numpty I'm sorry but I cannot tell a lie.
Just for Gilahi I'm even giving you the song to match the post title!

1. There was ONLY disabled seating down front. Wheelchairs and walking frames vying for prime spots. Those walking frame dudes can get mighty violent! They have the weapon right there in their hands. Poor wheelchair oldies didn't "stand" a chance. ( I just came up with that! The "stand" joke, shit it doesn't sound funny now does it? Was it ever?)

2. Drink. The bars were all located at the top of the theater. A feckin hike even for us youngsters so there was no booze drunk in the lower ranks. Not that you'd know it given the shaking and stammering that was going on
( Parkinson's and strokes who needs booze?)

3. The highlight of our night was when Van the Man arrived in a Limo.
The theater is outdoors so the Limo drove right up next to the stage.
Four or five humongous bouncers started yelling at the crowd to MOVE BACK!
Panic in the wheelchair ranks as they attempted break neck "wheeling"
Anarchy in the walking frame " GANG" They had fought hard to establish ground over the "wheelies"
Bouncers inducing Cardiac Arrests and mild to severe strokes in the audience is just fecked up!
What, pray tell, did they think these old farts were gonna do?
Jump on the Limo?
Jump on Van?
None of the audience in the immediate vicinity could WALK for feck sake!
Van emerged to silence, well apart from screeching wheelchairs and audible wheezing.
After the paramedics had gained control over the audience the concert began.
What a feckin night...
I'll say it again though, Van the Man, sublime...
AND HE'S 60feckin3!


Mike said...

I can't STAND bad jokes! (yes I can)

Bilbo said...

Sounds like my kind of geriatric audience. Could you hear the concert over the sound of the snoring and the hum of oxygen pumps?

fiona said...

Mike - I WALKED right into that one didn't I?

Bilbo - Van kinda snores and hums so I don't really know WTF we heard! lol

LiLu said...

I am a bad joke.

fiona said...

Lilu - You just made that up didn't ya? Your Gooooood! lmao

Gilahi said...

Thanks, Fiona, but here's the problem. I can't hear the video you provided because there's some Indian-sounding song going on the whole time I'm looking at your blog. If I play the video, then I have two songs going on at once. I appreciate the effort, though. Never seen Van Morrison. Got a few CD's, but never seen the man hissef. I'll have to add that one to my list.