Monday, February 2, 2009

Brand New Day - Sting

Happy Monday Dears.
I thought I didn't have much to say today, until I went into the shower.
No, nothing naughty just getting ready for a new day.
The following occurred:
Excited the hair with shampoo then agitated it with conditioner.
Discarded unwanted hair delicately from Oxters and legs (both) not forgetting big toes (both).
I forgot a toe once ( how does that happen? how can you forget to shave a toe?) wore sandals to work and was referred to as "Yeti Toe" for the next six years.
Overwhelmed towel by drying everything.
Body lotion/buttered everything, worrying, the now "bare" bits.
Rummaged around under the Oxters with Dove deodorant.
Titillated face with Ponds gentle cleanser.
Re hydrated daintily with anti-aging face creams, of which I have a plethora .
Teased the hair for a while with a wide toothed comb.
Tickled teeth until the toothbrush beeped then provoked them with floss.
Prepared to get dressed.
Humiliated least mangled/grayish brassiere and tricked it into fitting.
Harassed a g-string for however long THAT took.
Worried a pair of skinny jeans for ten minutes then tormented an old baggy sweater.
Back to the mirror eeeeekkkkkk.
Concealed recently acquired "adult acne"
Embarrassed eyes with blue liner.
Humiliated lips with gloss.
Invigorated hair with both hands.
It's not easy being me...
Stumbled downstairs.
Coffee Pictures, Images and Photos


Narm said...

Being a girl sounds like a pain in the ass, Yeti Toe.

lacochran said...

"Adult acne"? Could be rosecea. You may want to check out:

Not to depress you, but sometimes the devil you know...

Mike said...

"I forgot a toe once"

I'll bet you never ever forgot again.

John said...

would have been a lot easier if you would have just posted a video.

AbbotOfUnreason said...

Someone get a thesaurus for Christmas?

fiona said...

Narm- Thanks buddy for keeping me grounded...MAN!
LA - Awwww TY for the link but i'm pretty sure you were right last time - toxic waste byproducts!
Mike - NEVER! 2 toes,2toes, 2toes
John - Be careful what you wish for darlin ;)
Abbot - Shhhhhhhhhh will ya! ;)xxx

Anonymous said...

Dear Fiona, you dont humiliate your clothes, your clothes are happy to be there!
and we can discuss this story on sunday!

Bilbo said...

The linguist in me knows there just HAS to be an interesting story behind the term "oxters," but I'm not sure I'm really ready to hear it. Loved the Abbot's comment...

vw - prosp. Better than an amateursp?

fiona said...

Anon - There is no help for them but thank you for being sweet! I'll getcha Sunday, whichever one you are...;)

Bilbo - I'll look into Oxters for you, only for you mind! and Mr Abbot is a "good laugh" hehehehehehehe

Amy said...

Fantastic! I love it.
Have a great day!

fiona said...

Amy - *curtsy* Have a good one too darlin! Free to ride Friday??