Thursday, October 16, 2008

Haunted by The Pogues

Started decorating for Halloween.
You do realise we Scots started "the whole shebang"?
Of course you do, you wee intellectuals that you are.
Auld Hallows Eve. Look it up if you don't believe me.

I am still haunted by my recollections of "Guising" ( you guys invented trick or treat)as a kid.
It went as follows:-
1. No Pumpkins. Dad spent days hollowing out a Turnip (they are tough!)
Turnip Pictures, Images and Photos
2. No Torches (Flashlights) or glo-sticks. Dad jammed real candle into aforementioned
Neep (Turnip).
terror turnip =0 Pictures, Images and Photos
3. No fancy costumes. I was a Ghost every year from 1967 - 1976.
Reason? Mum would grudgingly give up a white bed sheet. Fair? Feck NO.
She would cut out 2 eyes,nose and mouth on the very corner, close to the edge as possible.
Why ? So she could put it back on the bed the next week,just tuck those holes right under the mattress...mum! In addition, " dinnae get that sheet dirty"
4. No cool kid happening. Walking the streets with the edge of a sheet over my face,
the rest of it trailing behind me...a figure of ridicule. Passing the other
(disguised) kids, all snickering and yelling "hi F!"
" Oh hello, Boo??"
5. No Trick or Treat. Hell no. People made you come into there homes and you had to "do a turn" sing, dance, recite a poem, whatever. Just to add to the humiliation. All that for an apple or an orange.
6. No fire safety occurred to my parents. Not at all. Send a 6 year old out, in the dark, carrying a "blazing" turnip whilst trailing a 6 foot flammable SHEET why don't you.
fireeee Pictures, Images and Photos
Potential Me on Halloween.
I can just imagine "the parents"
Mum - She was a good kid
Dad - Yep
Mum - pity about that bonnie sheet.
Dad - yep
Mum - Never mind at least we wont have to turn on the radiators tonight...

I'm amazed I survived it, physically and emotionally.
Actually cut the emotionally part.
Every Halloween, just as the sun sets I have an overwhelming urge to drape the corner of a sheet over my face and hauntingly cry Woooooooooooooooooooooo.
floating ghost Pictures, Images and Photos


lacochran's evil twin said...

Turnips still scare me.

lacochran's evil twin said...

AndAndAnd, I tagged you. Check my blog for details.

Mike said...

So it's YOUR fault I have to buy candy every year around this time. And then HAVE to eat the left overs.