Friday, October 24, 2008

The Tide Is High by Blondie

I've never done particularly well in water.
It's wet.
If god had meant us to be immersed in water he'd have given us gills or fins or some other fishy thing to make it easy. Six years of swimming lessons do not count.
Money down the drain.
Hey that was a wee bit funny.
Drain, water, oh hell forget it.
I paddle in the sea. There are bad things, big bad fishy things in there for feck sake, why would you want to go any deeper than your tootsies?
I've recently uncovered some really weird shyte going on in the water, large fish are the least of my problems these days.
Get this
My Name is Odin Pictures, Images and Photos
And that's not the best bit!
"after he was weaned, his British trainer, Lee Munro, discovered his remarkable skill. 'He makes a ferocious face - and it's actually to close his nostrils to stop the water from going into his nose"
HA, HA, friggin feckin HA, do I really look THAT stupid?
"Oh yes he's just plugging his nose, nothing to concern yourself with."
Oh okay great, I'll just dive in and do a few FECKIN laps then shall I?
Then just when I thought I'd seen it all...
Dolphin Cow Pictures, Images and Photos
Oh yes dear reader even the "Coo" has taken to the deep.
Feckin Flipper meet Feckin Flora.
Not only am I now to be terrified of big feckin fish, I have to beware of feckin ferocious faced tigers and Moooove over there's a stampede of feckin floras on the loose.
I am going now to take a shower. Safe water.


lacochran said...

Been a long time since I've seen a Blondie reference. Thanks. :)

Mike said...

"Money down the drain."

Keep 'em comin'. Bilbo and I will be keeping score.

weirdtales said...

The tide is High? Blondie?
..Did I get yer feckin' thing goin' again with my vacuum cleaner? I counted 8 fecks or feckins so far. I can swim well enough to save my life..I think/hope. Later..WT

Bilbo said...

Posts like these appeal to those of us who are known as big drips. And if that was, in fact, a Blondie reference, give yourself a gold star. I still think Deborah Harry rocks!

fiona said...

@Lacochran - I'm managing to stick to song titles but it's getting tougher.
I loved Debbie!
@Mike - I'll try,I'm very trying so not a problem :-)
@Wird - Your vacuum cleaner is totally responsible for my foul language, switch it off will you! xx

fiona said...

Whispers, all my post titles have been song titles for the past couple of MONTHS!
Just saying...
I accept the Gold Star, curtsey's to Bilbo, thank you kind Sir :-)