Friday, October 3, 2008

Smoke on the Water

I've been sneaky peeking around the blogosphere and have happened upon some really great blogs. I'll figure out how to link them to mine ( do you need permission from anyone to do that?) by 2010, at least that's the time frame I'm allowing myself.

Today is confession day.
I smoke cigarettes. There, I'm out of the closet.
Why do I do it?

It's the only thing I have totally mastered in these 40+ years of existence.
In other areas of life I am either proficient, adequate or totally useless.
In this ever decreasing world of smokers I am a professional.

"Olympic Smoking"...GOLD, no contest.
Of course if the games were held here in Cali we'd be struggling for a venue.
Maybe ship us out to sea on a raft ( too dangerous to smoke on a ship?)and we could have helicopters film our smoking from air tight cabins.
A raft for each country of course, don't want any confusion in the haze.

It would be judged on par with Three Day Eventing.

Day 1. Dressage. Mastery of the art with aplomb.

Day 2. Cross Country. Rowing the Raft around Buoys whilst maintaining even puffs.

Day 3. Show Jumping. Jumping off the Raft at least 12 times without extinguishing
your cigarette.

Drug testing obligatory of course.
Only competitors with maximum nicotine levels will be eligible.

All competitors to smoke the same brand to avoid advantage.

I would need to be on Team USA.
In the UK cigarettes are referred to as "Fags". Not good!

Shoot I've just spied the competition!!!! I need to get into some serious feckin training! That's what I get for blowing "fag" smoke up my own ass.

1 comment:

Liz said...

Hi there. My boss wanted me to take down the blog. Sucks. He felt that it was appropriate given I run this law firm. So boo on him. Enjoying your blog though ... keep it up!